Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The linechart illustrates about number of jobs in different sectors of United States of America between 1960 and 2020.
overall, it is clear that Manufacturing had dramatic increase until 1980. After that, it declined over the years by 2020.
Whereas Agriculture and Retail started at same point , Retail recorded significant growth over the years.in contrast, Agriculture slight went down and remain stable upto 2020.
Healthcare had dramatic growth compare to other sectors. Reached the same spot of Retail, at the end of 2020.
Manufacturing experienced rapid growth from 15 million to around 20 million until 1980.After that, it declined and reached approximate 13 by 2020. Similarly, Agriculture shrink around 4 million from around million in 1980.In addition, It remained calmed went down to around 2 millions at the end of 2020.
Retail and Healthcare both had a dramatic growth reaching 10 million and 5 million respectively.therefore, It continuos to rose up to at same point around 16 million at the end of the 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the rise and fall of Manufacturing and the growth of Healthcare and Retail. However, the overview is somewhat disjointed, and the data reporting is occasionally imprecise (e.g., 'reached the same spot'). While the main features are highlighted, the comparison between sectors could be more integrated. The response provides a clear summary of the trends, but the lack of precision in data points and some confusing phrasing regarding the timeline (e.g., 'at the end of 2020') limits the depth of the analysis. Overall, it addresses the requirements of the task sufficiently.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the logical progression is sometimes hindered by awkward transitions and mechanical use of cohesive devices. For instance, the use of 'therefore' to connect the growth of Retail and Healthcare is logically weak. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'It continuos to rose up to at same point', where the subject 'It' is ambiguous. While there is an attempt to use linking words, the flow between sentences is often choppy, and the paragraphing could be more effectively utilised to group related information more logically.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'slight went down' instead of 'slightly declined' and 'remained calmed' instead of 'remained stable'. The student attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'sectors' and 'dramatic growth', but the repetition of basic descriptors limits the range. Spelling errors, such as 'continuos', also occur. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on using more precise verbs and adverbs to describe trends and ensure accurate word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('Agriculture shrink'), incorrect verb tenses ('It continuos to rose'), and missing articles ('illustrates about number of jobs'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with spaces missing after periods and commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the response from reaching a higher band. More attention to proofreading and basic grammatical rules is necessary.
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