Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A glance at bar graphs reveals the data about the jobs in four sector of the economy in the United States between 1960 to 2020.

To begin with, in 1960 manufacturing industries accounted highest jobs at 15 millions.Followed by retail and agriculture held same number of job vacancy in both sector including 5.5 millions respectively.Meanwhile, healthcare has least number of jobs to around 2 million only.By 1980, manufacturing goods shows sharp rise to almost 20 million.Retailer jobs also experience modest increase to 10 million.In addition, health care sector roughly increased around 5 million where agriculture sector demonstrate gradually decline over the end.

However, in 2000 health care industry recored significant increased to 11 millions.Retailer job surged up to 15 million.Manufacture sector showed steady decline to 17 millions where agriculture remain unchanged till the end.By 2020, health care become most dominated sector in US holding 15 millions Jobs .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends across the four sectors. However, it falls slightly short of the 150-word minimum, which impacts the overall score. While the key data points are mentioned, the analysis is somewhat mechanical and lacks a clear overview or summary of the most significant trends. The reporting of figures is generally accurate, but the lack of sufficient length prevents a more thorough development of the comparison between sectors. To improve, ensure you provide a clear introductory overview and expand on the comparisons between the sectors to meet the word count requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the chronological progression. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive and occasionally mechanical (e.g., 'To begin with', 'Meanwhile', 'However'). There are also issues with sentence-level cohesion, where some transitions feel abrupt. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more naturally. Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively used to group related trends.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There are several instances of awkward phrasing or incorrect word forms, such as 'accounted highest jobs', 'retailer jobs', and 'most dominated sector'. While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is limited to basic descriptors. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise collocations and varied terminology to describe trends, such as 'peaked at', 'experienced a downward trend', or 'surpassed'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include missing articles ('in four sector', 'in US'), incorrect verb tenses ('manufacturing goods shows', 'health care become'), and subject-verb agreement errors ('agriculture remain unchanged'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing after periods. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy and proofreading for small errors would significantly improve your score.

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