Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the quantity of employment in four divisions of economics in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, retail and healthcare jobs raised the economy to the high point, whereas manufacturing fallen form its peek level and agriculture below the economy to the lowest mark.

Looking further into the graph, the economy of retail employment got raised from 6 to 10 and than 15 and remained at 16 millions. While on the other hand medical jobs were also gone up from 2 to 5 and 11 than got the same place as of retail.

Furthermore, manufacturing job was on the peek like from 15 to 20 millions and than fallen gradually below retail and healthcare till 2020. Additionally agriculture was the most lowest from 6 millions to 3 in 1980 and steady till 2000 and in 2020 fallen to 2 millions jobs only.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends, the description of the data is often imprecise. For example, you use vague phrasing like 'got raised from 6 to 10 and than 15' rather than specifying the units or timeframes clearly. The overview is present but lacks the necessary analytical depth to highlight the most significant trends effectively. To improve, ensure you provide a clear summary of the key features and use precise data points to support your observations, while ensuring you meet the minimum length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is hindered by repetitive sentence structures and a lack of varied cohesive devices. Transitions like 'Looking further into the graph' and 'Furthermore' are used, but the internal flow within paragraphs is mechanical. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as 'got the same place as of retail', which makes it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison. Increasing the use of linking words and ensuring each sentence builds logically on the previous one would improve the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You rely on basic verbs like 'raised', 'gone up', and 'fallen', which lack the precision required for describing data trends. There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'divisions of economics' instead of 'economic sectors' and 'most lowest', which is grammatically incorrect. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined', or 'remained stable', and ensure you use these terms in the correct context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include tense inconsistencies ('manufacturing fallen form its peek'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward sentence construction ('agriculture below the economy to the lowest mark'). There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the simple sentences used often contain errors in subject-verb agreement or word order. Focusing on basic sentence accuracy and proofreading for common errors like verb forms and spelling (e.g., 'peek' instead of 'peak') will help improve your score significantly.

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