Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph depicts information about the jobs were provided in four areas-Manufacturing,Retail,Agriculture and Healthcare from 1960 to 2020.
Overall,it is clear that the manufacturing and healthcare jobs were followed downward trend whereas the retail and agriculture jobs followed upward trend.
After analyzing the graph,it is evident that 15 millions jobs were provided in manufacturing sector in 1960,followed by 20 millions in after 20 years and it decreased dramatically in the year of 2000 and 2020 and reached at nearby 12 millions.Whereas, very less amount of people wanted to do jobs in healthcare region which was approximately 2 million and it climbed steadily from 1980 to 2000 and reached at near about 15 million.
Furthermore,the same amount of people preferred to do job in retail and agriculture in 1960.After that ,it rose gradually in retail sector throughout end of the year and reached at near about 15 millions.While the agriculture sector followed downward trend at the end of the year and reached nearby 2 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
You have successfully identified the main features of the graph and provided a clear overview. However, there are some inaccuracies in your data reporting. For instance, you state that manufacturing jobs followed a downward trend, but the graph shows it fluctuated significantly before declining. Additionally, your description of the retail and agriculture sectors contains factual errors; the graph shows agriculture declining while retail grew, but your summary of their starting points and trends is slightly confused. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference the data points with your written descriptions to avoid misrepresenting the visual information provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The response is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' and 'Whereas' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by mechanical phrasing and some awkward transitions. For example, the phrase 'throughout end of the year' is unclear and disrupts the logical progression of the timeline. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that your referencing (e.g., 'the same amount') is precise so that the reader can easily track which data points you are comparing.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to describe trends using terms like 'downward trend', 'climbed steadily', and 'rose gradually'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'very less amount of people' (should be 'a much smaller number of people') and 'jobs were provided' (which is repetitive). There are also minor errors in word formation, such as '15 millions' instead of '15 million'. Expanding your range of descriptive adjectives and adverbs, and ensuring correct pluralization of numbers, will help improve your score in this area.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'in manufacturing sector'), incorrect preposition usage ('reached at nearby'), and subject-verb agreement errors ('jobs were followed downward trend'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas. While your meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from being considered error-free. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for small grammatical slips will significantly enhance the quality of your writing.
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