Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the employment rate in four different sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, healthcare showed a massive rise in employment in the last 60 years, while agriculture remained at the lowest in terms of jobs. In addition, initially the manufacturing industry experienced a rise, but a significant decline of the employment rate was seen until 2020.

The manufacturing industry had substantially increased the number of jobs to 20 million in the year 1980 and gradually decreased to 11 million untill at the 2020.However,healther sector created the highest number of jobs and demonstrated a huge surge in 3million jobs to 16 million which were almost equall to retail.

The agriculture sector recorded a significant decline in employment rate from 7 million to 3 million and is positioned at the bottom of the rest of the sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For example, you mention the healthcare sector surged from 3 million to 16 million, but the graph shows a different trajectory. Additionally, the comparison between sectors is underdeveloped. To improve, ensure you provide a clear overview of all four sectors and verify your data points against the graph. Because the response is under-length and lacks sufficient detail to fully cover the task, it falls into the lower band range.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is hindered by the lack of sufficient detail and some awkward transitions. The use of cohesive devices is limited; for instance, 'In addition' and 'However' are used, but the flow between sentences is often mechanical. The referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly when comparing the retail and healthcare sectors. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the data points logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for higher bands. You use some relevant terms like 'employment rate' and 'manufacturing industry', but there are errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'huge surge in 3million jobs' and 'equall to retail'. There are also spelling errors like 'untill' and 'healther'. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stagnant', and ensure accurate spelling and word formation throughout your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include missing articles (e.g., 'in 3million jobs'), incorrect preposition usage ('at the 2020'), and punctuation errors. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed accurately. Proofreading for basic errors like 'untill' and missing spaces after punctuation will also help.

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