Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the information about the count of jobs in four different areas of the economy in the united states of America from 1960 to 2020.
It can be clearly seen that Manufacturing job was one of the highest increased from 1960 by 15million after 20years it was inclined by more million, but with the passage of time it was observed as gradually decreased until 2020 to around 13 million. Followed by this, In the initial year Retail jobs was 5 million but it was slowly rose upto 15million till 2000. Whereas, it had remain similar from 2000 to 2020.
It can be clearly observed that In area of Health care from 1960 it was below than 5 million However, it was inclined by 5 million after 20 years. In 2000, it was increased by 5 million more before year. Afterwards, it rose up 15 million as same to retail job. Lastly, the least job was Agriculture Department which was increased by 5 million only in 1960 whereas, it was seen as decreased after the following years.
Overall, Manfacturing job areas was increased drasticallty However, the least area observed was farming department in united states of america from 1960 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response provides a summary of the main features of the graph, but the data reporting is often inaccurate or confusing. For example, the description of Manufacturing trends is unclear, and the statement that Agriculture was the 'least job' is not supported by the visual data provided. While you have identified the four sectors, the lack of precision in describing the trends (e.g., 'inclined by more million') makes it difficult for the reader to follow the data accurately. To improve, focus on selecting key data points—such as the start and end values or significant turning points—and ensure your descriptions of increases and decreases are mathematically precise.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader navigate the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. Phrases like 'Followed by this' and 'before year' do not effectively link ideas or clarify the timeline. The progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the third paragraph where the transition between sectors is abrupt. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'subsequently', 'in contrast', 'meanwhile') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, logical focus that flows naturally from the previous one.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is often repetitive and lacks the precision required for describing statistical data. You frequently use 'increased' or 'inclined' to describe all movements, which limits your ability to convey nuance. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'Agriculture Department' instead of 'Agriculture sector' and 'Manfacturing' (spelling error). To improve, try to incorporate more specific verbs and nouns related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'a significant decline'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you avoid repetitive phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'Retail jobs was 5 million'), missing articles (e.g., 'in united states of america'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'it was inclined by 5 million after 20 years'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of capital letters in the middle of sentences. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Proofreading for basic sentence structure errors will help you achieve a higher score.
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