Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
A glance at the line graph provided reveals the number of jobs in four economic sectors of the US from 1960 to 2020.
It is apparent from the information provided that the manufacturing sector was leading the market in 1960 with 15 million jobs; followed by the retail and the agriculture sector both combined provided 10 million jobs in 1960. Whereas, the healthcare sector was around mere 2 million jobs.
It is interesting to note that in 2020, The healthcare and the retail sector were offering the highest jobs both at 15 million. Whereas, the manufacturing field after attaining its peak at 20 million in 1980 declined steadily and struck around 13 million jobs in 2020. However, the agriculture was the only industry which suffered continuous reduction in the job numbers and reached to a mere 2 million jobs.
Overall, the manufacturing industry was leading the sectors in 1960. In 2020, the retail and the healthcare sectors dominated the market in providing the jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers the main features of the graph well, identifying the starting positions in 1960 and the final trends by 2020. You successfully highlighted the shift in dominance from manufacturing to healthcare and retail. However, the description of the trends could be more precise. For example, stating that retail and agriculture 'combined provided 10 million jobs' is a bit vague, and the analysis of the manufacturing peak in 1980 is a good inclusion, but the overall summary could benefit from a more distinct overview paragraph at the beginning or end that synthesizes the broader trends more effectively. The data points are generally accurate, and the comparison between sectors is clear.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding summary. The progression of ideas is easy to follow, moving from the initial state in 1960 to the final state in 2020. You use cohesive devices such as 'Whereas', 'However', and 'It is interesting to note that' to link your ideas. While the paragraphing is functional, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. The use of referencing is generally clear, though some sentences are slightly repetitive in structure, which slightly impacts the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly. Phrases like 'attaining its peak', 'declined steadily', and 'dominated the market' are appropriate for this task. There are some minor issues with word choice, such as 'struck around 13 million jobs' (where 'stood at' or 'reached' would be more natural) and 'the healthcare and the retail sector were offering the highest jobs' (which is slightly awkward phrasing). Overall, the vocabulary is adequate for the task, but incorporating more precise collocations would elevate the response to a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While there are some grammatical errors, such as 'the agriculture was the only industry' (should be 'agriculture was') and 'reached to a mere 2 million' (should be 'reached a mere 2 million'), these do not impede communication. You have attempted complex sentences, but there is a tendency for some minor errors in articles and prepositions. The punctuation is generally correct, and the sentence variety is sufficient to maintain the reader's interest throughout the report.
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