Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The paragraph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in the US between 1960 and 2020 .The job sectors name as Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare.

The jobs in assembling or making products in Manufacturing sectors are many employment opportunities from 1960 to 2020. is a very good sectors for jobs, on the other hand jobs in Retail sector are decrease gradually from 5 million in 1960 t0 2020. In the agriculture sector there many jobs from 1960 to 2020 about increases from 5 million to 10 million. In the recent years the agriculture sectors grown too much .The jobs in healthcare sectors increase in recent years about 15 million from 1960 t0 2020 and decrease because the new technology in healthcare sector occur. And due to technology, the diseases also decrease.

In conclusion, every sector has their unique quality in the development of community .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the task but fails to accurately report the data presented in the graph. There are significant factual inaccuracies; for example, you state that the retail sector decreased from 5 million, whereas the graph shows a clear upward trend. Furthermore, the description of the healthcare sector is confusing and contradicts the visual evidence. The overview is missing, and the main features are not clearly identified or compared. To improve, you must carefully observe the trends (increases, decreases, fluctuations) and ensure your summary reflects the actual data provided rather than making general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a logical structure. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the progression of ideas is disjointed. Cohesive devices are either missing or used incorrectly, such as the repetitive use of 'in the... sector' to start sentences. The conclusion is vague and does not summarize the main trends of the graph. To improve, use a clear structure: an introduction, an overview of the main trends, and two body paragraphs grouping the data logically. Use linking words like 'whereas', 'in contrast', or 'subsequently' to connect your ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on basic terms like 'jobs', 'sectors', and 'increase'. There are also issues with word formation and collocation, such as 'The job sectors name as' and 'grown too much'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuate', 'peak', 'decline', 'significant growth', and 'steady rise'. Avoid informal phrasing and focus on using precise terminology to describe the economic sectors and the trends shown in the graph.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'jobs in Retail sector are decrease'), missing articles, and incorrect tense usage. Sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around periods. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses when describing past data, and practicing the use of complex sentences with subordinate clauses to add variety to your writing.

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