Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph below ellustrate the information about the number of jobs in four sectore of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

The graph show that in 1960 the manufacturing is in the highest peak about 15 million jobs are available while in retails there are about 5 million also the agriculture same as the retail but in healthcare the ratio of jobs is too low in 1960 but getting higher with the time.

More ever if we look for year 1980 around 20 years later the ratio of jobs in manufacturing is more higher then before and goes to 20 million while retail also go higher to 10 million and agriculture decreases less then 5 million while if we look for healthcare sop its also increased to 5 million, how ever if we look for 2000 the manufacturing is decreased to around 15 million plus and retail is increased to 15 million also health care more then 15 million and agriculture remains the same as 1980 and goes down in 2020 but the health care ratio is increased to 15 million and retails also the same as agriculture but unfortunately the manufacturing ratio is decreased less then 15 million.

In the conclusion the graph clearly show us the number of jobs in every 20 years which is interesting and easy to understand.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the task by identifying the main trends in the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat mechanical, listing data points rather than synthesising them into a clear overview. While the main features are identified, the lack of a clear, distinct overview paragraph makes it difficult to grasp the overall trends immediately. The description of the data is occasionally inaccurate, such as describing the 'ratio' of jobs rather than the number of jobs. To improve, ensure you provide a clear summary of the most significant trends in the introduction or as a separate paragraph, and focus on comparing the sectors rather than just listing figures for each year.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the internal structure is weak. The use of cohesive devices is limited and often repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'if we look for' and 'also'. The flow between sentences is disjointed, making the text feel like a list of observations rather than a cohesive report. Paragraphing is present but the content within the paragraphs is not logically grouped, leading to a lack of clear progression. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'meanwhile') and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific theme or time period to improve the logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'higher', 'lower', and 'increased'. There are several spelling errors, such as 'ellustrate' instead of 'illustrate' and 'sectore' instead of 'sectors'. The use of 'ratio' is incorrect in this context, as the graph shows absolute numbers of jobs, not ratios. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the trends with precision. To improve, incorporate more academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined', and 'remained stable', and ensure you use terms that accurately reflect the data provided in the graph.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The graph show'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward sentence structures (e.g., 'manufacturing is in the highest peak'). The use of complex sentences is attempted but often results in run-on sentences or errors in tense and word order. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and full stops. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and using a mix of simple and complex sentences with correct punctuation to enhance readability.

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