Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the millions of jobs details in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Examining the information about a manufacturing industry, the highest proportion was noted for manufacturing sector, ranging at 15 millions to 20 millions from 1960 to 1980. By contrast, it experienced a steady decline between 20 million to 13 million after the decades.
By 1960, the figure of retail sales job observed gradual rose over the period, indicating a sharp growth and became a dominant job category. A similar trend can be observed in healthcare at nearly 2 million to 15 million throughout the year, it experienced a peak popularity as retail sector. However, the healthcare sector noticed declined dramatically in the year 1960 and 1980, having remained stable over the last year.
Overall, although manufacturing jobs recorded the highest figure initially, it declined significantly. The retail and healthcare sector became dominant category over the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and contains inaccuracies. For instance, the claim that healthcare 'declined dramatically in the year 1960 and 1980' is not supported by the typical trajectory of such data, and the description of the manufacturing trend is slightly imprecise. While the overview is present, it lacks the depth required for a higher band. The report would benefit from more precise data points and a clearer distinction between the periods of growth and decline for each sector.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and an overview. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'By contrast', 'A similar trend', and 'Overall', which help guide the reader. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and some mechanical use of linking words. For example, the transition between the retail and healthcare descriptions is a bit abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal flow within paragraphs could be smoother to ensure a more natural progression of information.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety expected at higher levels. There are some repetitive phrases, such as 'figure of' and 'sector'. Some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'peak popularity' when referring to job numbers, or 'ranging at 15 millions'. While the meaning is clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and there are minor errors in collocation and pluralisation (e.g., '15 millions' instead of '15 million'). Expanding the range of descriptive verbs and nouns would improve the score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'the figure of retail sales job observed gradual rose' (should be 'a gradual rise') and 'healthcare sector noticed declined' (should be 'the healthcare sector saw a decline'). Subject-verb agreement and article usage are inconsistent throughout the text. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent the response from reaching a higher band. More attention to verb tenses and noun phrases is needed.
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