Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph compares the number of jobs (in millions) in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the healthcare department has shown the biggest increase in the number of jobs in the given period of time. Agricultural and manufacturing both showed a slight decrease in employment from 1960 to 2020.
Healthcare department has almost 2 million jobs in 1960 which jumped to 5 million in 1980. In 2020, it was approximately 15 million and became one of the highest jobs markets. Retail has also displayed a significant increase until 2000 although after that it slightly rose. Both healthcare and retail showed a noticeable change in their employment rate.
Inversely, Manufacturing industry peaked in 1980 but then it started declining till 2020. In 1960 there were 15 million jobs available in this field but in 2020 was approximately 12.5 million. Similarly, Agriculture related vacancies significantly dropped till 1980 but then it stayed fluctuating. Nevertheless, both these industries experienced a clear decline.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as contrasting the growth in healthcare with the decline in manufacturing. However, the report could be improved by ensuring data accuracy; for example, stating that healthcare had 'almost 2 million' in 1960 is slightly imprecise based on the visual data. Additionally, while you mention the sectors, ensuring that the 'main features' are highlighted with more precise data points would elevate the response. You have a clear structure that addresses the prompt effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'Inversely', 'Similarly', and 'Nevertheless' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the paragraphing could be improved by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a specific thematic grouping (e.g., growing sectors vs. declining sectors). Referencing is generally clear, though some sentences could be more smoothly connected to improve the flow of information. Overall, the progression of ideas is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuating', 'vacancies', and 'significant increase'. There are some minor issues with word choice, such as referring to the 'healthcare department' rather than 'sector' or 'industry', and 'jobs markets' which is slightly unnatural in this context. You attempt to use less common vocabulary, which is good, but there is room for more precision in your collocations. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly without any significant impediment to the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'Healthcare department has almost 2 million jobs in 1960' (tense inconsistency) and 'in 2020 was approximately 12.5 million' (missing subject). While these errors are present, they do not impede communication. To reach a higher band, focus on consistent verb tenses when describing past trends and ensure that subjects are included in every clause. Your punctuation is generally accurate, and the sentence variety is sufficient for this task.
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