Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrate information about the number of jobs in different four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
overall, the highest sector was manufacturing in year 1960 to year 2000 due to their was 20 million jobs over their.
the lowest sector was healthcare in year 1960 to1980.but in 2000 to 2020 these sector was grownup and rich to 15 million people find job in 2020.
Firstly, in this line graph the first manufacturing sector was highest sector above other threes constantly in 2000.But after 2000 the sector was slightly decreased. The second sector was inconstantly increased. But after 2000 to 2020 the sector was stable at least their was 15 million jobs over their. sector was inconstantly increased. But after 2000 to 2020 the sector was stable at least their was 15 million jobs over their.
secondly, the third agricultural sector was in 1960 their was only 5.5 millions jobs are there. but as compare to year 1980 to 2000 that sector constantly decrease like only 4 million jobs are available. The last sector healthcare was dramatically increase in 1980 to 2020. Their was in 1960 only 4 million jobs are available but in 2020 their was more available like 15 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, such as the trends in manufacturing and healthcare. However, the overview is weak and lacks clarity, as it focuses on specific data points rather than identifying the overall trends. Some information is inaccurate or poorly described, such as the claim that manufacturing was the highest sector until 2000, when the graph shows it declining earlier. The description of the sectors is somewhat repetitive and lacks a clear, analytical focus. To improve, ensure that the overview highlights the most significant trends (e.g., the dramatic rise of healthcare versus the decline of agriculture) rather than listing individual figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by repetitive phrasing and awkward transitions. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes incorrect, such as the repetitive use of 'the sector was' and 'their was'. The referencing is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the four sectors. Paragraphing is present but the internal structure of the paragraphs is disjointed, with sentences often repeating the same information. Improving the use of linking words like 'consequently', 'in contrast', or 'furthermore' would help create a smoother flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'rich to 15 million' instead of 'reached 15 million' and 'grownup' instead of 'grown'. The student relies heavily on basic vocabulary and struggles to use precise terminology to describe trends (e.g., 'inconstantly increased' is not standard academic English). To reach a higher band, the student needs to incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary for describing data, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined steadily', or 'surpassed'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('the line graph illustrate'), article usage, and the misuse of 'their' instead of 'there'. Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences are often faulty or contain punctuation errors. The misuse of tenses is also apparent, particularly when describing past trends. To improve, the student should focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb forms and consistent use of past tense when referring to the period between 1960 and 2020.
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