Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare) of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The figures are measured in millions.
Overall, there was significant variation among different sectors, with manufacturing industries accounted for the highest jobs, while agriculture represented at least throughout six decade, while retail and agriculture sectors showed upward trand throughout the period.
It is clear from the data that manufacturing sectors stood at 15 millions jobs in 1960. It than gradually rose to 20 millions in 1980, continuing dramatically plummeted approximately 12 millions jobs. Healthcare industries accounted for the lowest jobs around at 3 millions, it then slightly climbed to 5 millions, before reacing approximately to 16 millions jobs.
Now, turinig to the details, Retail sectros represented the proportions of jobs around at 6 millions, it than significantly increased to 15 millions in 2000 and slightly rose in 2020 at 16 millions jobs. Agriculture sectores stood at 6 millions jobs, it then dramatically dropped to 3 millions and continuing declined to 2 millions jobs by the end of the year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview. You covered all four sectors and included relevant data points to support your descriptions. However, there are some inaccuracies in your reporting of the data; for example, you state that manufacturing 'plummeted' to 12 million, but the graph shows a more complex trend. Additionally, the overview is slightly confusing, as you mention manufacturing had the highest jobs while also noting agriculture represented the least, which is accurate but could be phrased more clearly. To reach a higher band, ensure that your data points are precise and that your overview captures the most significant trends without contradictory phrasing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You use some cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'It is clear from the data', and 'Now, turning to the details'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. There are also issues with referencing and sentence flow, such as the comma splice in 'Healthcare industries accounted for the lowest jobs around at 3 millions, it then slightly climbed'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that sentences are properly connected will help improve the flow and coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points of the graph, such as 'significant variation', 'upward trend', and 'dramatically dropped'. However, there are several errors in word choice and form, such as 'manufacturing industries accounted for the highest jobs' (should be 'highest number of jobs') and 'reacing' (spelling error). You also struggle with pluralisation, frequently writing 'millions' instead of 'million' when used with a specific number. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they are frequent enough to limit your score in this criterion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is good. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly with verb tenses and sentence construction. For instance, 'continuing dramatically plummeted' is grammatically incorrect, and 'it than gradually rose' contains a spelling error ('than' instead of 'then'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition usage, such as 'at 6 millions'. While you can communicate your ideas, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and punctuation structures prevents you from achieving a higher band score.
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