Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The figures are measured in millions of jobs.
Overall, manufacturing recorded the highest employment at the beginning of the period but experienced an overall decline. In contrast, retail and healthcare showed steady growth, with retail becoming the largest employer by 2020. Meanwhile, agriculture remained the smallest sector throughout the period.
Looking first at manufacturing, employment stood at around 15 million in 1960 before increasing to a peak of 20 million in 1980. Thereafter, the figure declined gradually to approximately 13 million by 2020. By comparison, retail employment increased steadily from about 6 million to around 16 million over the same period, overtaking manufacturing in the final year.
Turning to the remaining sectors, healthcare recorded the fastest growth, rising from only 2 million jobs in 1960 to roughly 16 million by 2020. In contrast, agriculture followed the opposite trend, declining gradually from around 5 million to just 2 million, making it the smallest employment sector throughout the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response effectively addresses all parts of the task. You have provided a clear overview of the trends and successfully identified the main features, such as the peak in manufacturing and the significant growth in healthcare. The comparisons between sectors are well-integrated, particularly the observation that retail overtook manufacturing by 2020. The data is accurately reported, and the selection of information is balanced, ensuring that all four sectors are covered without unnecessary detail. This meets the requirements for a high band score as it provides a clear, accurate, and well-supported summary of the provided graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The response is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, starting with an introduction and overview, followed by body paragraphs that group the sectors logically. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Meanwhile', 'Thereafter', and 'By comparison' are used effectively to link sentences and ideas. The paragraphing is skillful, and the information flows smoothly from one point to the next. There is no evidence of mechanical or repetitive usage, and the overall structure is very easy to follow, which is characteristic of a high-level response.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You have demonstrated a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey information with precision. Phrases such as 'recorded the highest employment', 'steady growth', and 'followed the opposite trend' are used appropriately. While the vocabulary is accurate and fits the context well, it remains somewhat functional. To reach the highest band, you could incorporate more sophisticated or varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' (e.g., 'surged', 'plummeted', 'fluctuated') to show greater flexibility. However, the current range is more than adequate for the task and demonstrates good control over topic-specific terminology.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The response exhibits a good variety of complex structures, such as the use of participial phrases ('making it the smallest employment sector') and subordinate clauses ('before increasing to a peak'). The grammar is highly accurate, with the majority of sentences being error-free. Punctuation is used correctly throughout, and the control over tense and aspect is consistent with the requirements of describing historical data. There are no significant grammatical errors that impede communication, and the sentence structures are varied enough to maintain a natural flow.
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