Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The provided line chart demonstrates the four sectors in occupation of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing dominated the maximum numbers of jobs, while the nominal was made by healthcare in the beginning of period. In contrast, the healthcare and the retail sectors jobs remained the same till at the end of time.
In 1960, the manufacturing sector had the highest number of occupations as regard to 15 millions, while the lowest was belong to the healthcare at around 2 millions. The retail and the agriculture were the same numbers of jobs, at just over 5 millions.
After 2 decades, the retail and the health care were increased at 10 millions and 5 millions, respectively. These figures of jobs was expanded till the last period. The farming sector jobs remained unchanged between 0 to 5 millions from 1980 to 2020. The manufacturing sector declined sharply to 13 millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the task by identifying the main features and trends. However, the overview is somewhat inaccurate; for instance, stating that healthcare and retail remained the same is not supported by the data, which shows clear growth. The reporting of figures is occasionally imprecise, such as 'as regard to 15 millions' and 'the nominal was made by healthcare'. While the main trends are identified, the lack of precision in describing the data points and the misinterpretation of the retail sector's trajectory limit the score. To improve, ensure that the overview captures the most significant trends accurately and that data points are cited with greater precision.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or awkward, such as 'at the end of time' and 'as regard to'. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs. While there is an attempt to use linking words, the overall flow is hindered by unnatural phrasing and occasional confusion in referencing. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help create a more professional and cohesive response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'occupation of the economy' instead of 'economic sectors' and 'the nominal was made by' which is unclear. Phrases like 'at the end of time' are inappropriate for an academic report. While the student attempts to use sector-specific terminology, the errors in collocation and word choice are noticeable and occasionally impede the clarity of the information provided. Expanding your range of academic vocabulary and focusing on correct collocations will significantly improve your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include 'the manufacturing dominated the maximum numbers', 'the lowest was belong to', and 'these figures of jobs was expanded'. Subject-verb agreement and preposition usage are inconsistent throughout the text. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly verb forms and article usage, is essential for improvement.
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