Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The provided line chart demonstrates the four sectors in employment of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing dominated the maximum numbers of jobs, while the nominal was made by healthcare in the beginning of period. In contrast, the healthcare and the retail sectors jobs remained the same till at the end.
In 1960, the manufacturing sector had the highest number of occupations as regards to 15 million, while the lowest was belong to the healthcare at around 2 million. The retail and the agriculture were the same numbers of jobs, at just over 5 million.
After 2 decades, the retail and the health care were increased at 10 million and 5 million, respectively. These figures of jobs were expanded till the last period. The farming sector jobs remained unchanged between 0 to 5 million from 1980 to 2020. The manufacturing sector declined sharply to 13 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the overview is somewhat confusing; stating that 'manufacturing dominated' while also noting 'healthcare' was the nominal (lowest) is accurate, but the claim that 'healthcare and retail sectors jobs remained the same' is factually incorrect based on the provided data, as both show growth. The report of figures is generally accurate, but the lack of clarity in the overview and some imprecise reporting of trends (e.g., 'expanded till the last period') limits the score. To improve, ensure the overview highlights the most significant overall trends rather than specific data points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'In 1960', and 'After 2 decades'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'as regards to 15 million' or 'the lowest was belong to'. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal cohesion within sentences is occasionally hindered by grammatical errors, making the flow feel slightly disjointed in places. More varied linking words would improve the overall cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to describe the trends using terms like 'declined sharply', 'increased', and 'remained unchanged'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'the nominal was made by healthcare' and 'the lowest was belong to'. These errors do not prevent understanding, but they do indicate a limited control over more precise academic vocabulary. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on using more accurate collocations and avoiding awkward phrasing when describing data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'the manufacturing dominated the maximum numbers of jobs', 'the retail and the agriculture were the same numbers of jobs', and 'the healthcare and the retail sectors jobs remained the same'. These errors, particularly with articles and verb forms, are persistent. While they rarely impede communication, they demonstrate a lack of control over complex structures. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct article usage would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.