Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph explain data report of numbers of jobs in four different economical sectors in US from 1960 to 2020.

Firstly, the jobs were 15 millions in 1960 of the manufacturing sector. Then, it greatly increased to 20 millions in 1980. After, there was a downfall to 17 millions in 2000 and below 15 millions almost 13 millions in 2020.

In the 2nd sector of economy, the jobs increased gradually from 6 millions to almost 16 millions.

Also in the 3rd sector, healthcare, jobs increased from th past to 2020 leading to touch 16 millions. Almot the number of jobs are equal in retail and healthcare sectors.

The last one sector agriculture, there were a 6 millions job in 1960 and then decreased to 3.5 millions. It was a major decline in agriculture sector. Then it remain same until 2020 and reduced a little more made 2 millions job oppurtunities in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the task by identifying the four sectors and describing trends over the period. However, the overview is missing; a summary of the main trends (e.g., the growth in service/healthcare versus the decline in agriculture) is essential for a higher band. While you have selected key features, the description is somewhat mechanical and lacks a clear comparison between the sectors. For instance, you mention the retail and healthcare sectors are 'equal' in 2020, but the data needs to be presented more precisely. To improve, ensure you include a clear overview paragraph after the introduction that highlights the most significant changes across the entire period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes repetitive (e.g., 'Then', 'Also', 'The last one'). The progression of ideas is occasionally disjointed, particularly in the transition between the description of the manufacturing sector and the subsequent sectors. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more fluidly, such as 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', or 'Subsequently'. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader through the data points you are presenting.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely on basic terms like 'increased' and 'decreased' repeatedly. There are also some awkward phrasings, such as 'leading to touch 16 millions' and 'made 2 millions job oppurtunities'. Spelling errors like 'Almot' and 'oppurtunities' are present, though they do not significantly impede communication. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'remained stable', and ensure you use correct collocations when describing numerical data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response uses a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include 'The graph explain data report' (subject-verb agreement), 'in 1960 of the manufacturing sector' (preposition error), and 'there were a 6 millions job' (article and pluralisation errors). These errors are noticeable and occur throughout the text. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles with plural nouns. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band score.

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