Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This line graph showing the number of employment opportunities in all economic sectors of the US between 1960 to 2020 showing the shift from unskilled labor of agriculture to skilled labor of healthcare and retail industries.

Overall , there is a sharp decline in jobs for manufacturing industry in later decades where as agriculture industry has a steady amount of jobs available across the period . On the other hand retail and healthcare both sectors have a significant rise in the number of jobs available across the period .

From [redacted phone] , the number of jobs in manufacturing sector rose from 15 million to its peak of 20 million .Subsequent years saw a sharp fall in manufacturing jobs in the US. Retail and healthcare sectors have seen a similar rise with both of these sectors achieving peak numbers in 2020, with both sectors jobs being just above 15 million .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the decline in manufacturing and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the analysis is somewhat limited. While you mention the peak for manufacturing, you fail to provide specific data points for the other sectors, such as the starting or ending figures for agriculture or the specific growth trajectory of the healthcare sector. The description of the agriculture sector as having a 'steady amount' is a good summary, but the report lacks the depth required for a higher band, as it misses opportunities to compare the sectors more precisely at specific time intervals.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the general trends from the specific data. Cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand' and 'Subsequent years' are used to guide the reader. However, the connection between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to show more complex relationships between the data points. The overall progression is clear, but the transition between the overview and the detailed data could be smoother.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'economic sectors', 'unskilled labor', and 'significant rise'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and phrasing, such as 'steady amount of jobs available' (which is slightly unnatural) and 'both sectors jobs being' (which is grammatically awkward). To reach a higher band, you should aim for more precise collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, but it lacks the sophistication and flexibility required for a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as the missing verb in the opening sentence ('This line graph showing...'), which should be 'This line graph shows'. Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as the space before the comma in 'Overall ,'. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. You should focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement and refining your use of articles and prepositions to improve the overall accuracy of your writing.

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