Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The provided line graph delineates data regarding the changes in the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US over a sixty-year period spanning from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is immediately salient that healthcare experienced a remarkable upward trend, whereas the converse was true for agriculture, which witnessed a study decline throughout the timescale. Additionally, the most dramatic growth was registered in retail.
In terms of the detailed statistics, healthcare commenced at approximately 2 millions in 1960 and subsequently surged dramatically to reach a peak of 16 millions in 2020. Following this exponential growth, the figures plateaued consistently at this high for the remained of the period.
By striking contrast, agricultural followed a completely inverted trajectory. The data plummet sharply from 6 millions in 1960, before hitting a rock-bottom of merely 2 millions in 2020. Thereafter, this category experienced wild fluctuations until the final year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
Javobingiz grafikning asosiy xususiyatlarini qamrab oladi, sog'liqni saqlash sohasidagi o'sish tendentsiyasini va qishloq xo'jaligidagi pasayishni aniqlaydi. Biroq, topshiriq to'rtta sektor haqida hisobot berishni talab qiladi, siz esa faqat ikkitasini tilga olgansiz. Qolgan ikki sektorni butunlay o'tkazib yuborish orqali siz topshiriqning barcha qismlarini bajara olmadingiz. Bundan tashqari, ma'lumotlarni taqdim etishda noaniqliklar mavjud; masalan, siz sog'liqni saqlash 2020-yilda 16 millionda barqarorlashganini (plateaued) aytasiz, ammo grafik uzluksiz tendentsiyani ko'rsatadi va siz qishloq xo'jaligi uchun 'wild fluctuations' iborasini ishlatasiz, bu esa taqdim etilgan ma'lumotlar bilan tasdiqlanmaydi. Yaxshilash uchun barcha kategoriyalar qamrab olinganiga va ma'lumotlar nuqtalari to'g'ri talqin qilinganiga ishonch hosil qiling.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
Insho aniq kirish, umumiy sharh va asosiy paragraflar bilan mantiqiy tashkil etilgan. 'In terms of', 'By striking contrast' va 'thereafter' kabi bog'lovchi vositalardan foydalanish o'quvchini ma'lumotlar bo'ylab yo'naltirishga yordam beradi. Paragraflarga ajratish umumiy sharhni aniq tafsilotlardan ajratish uchun mos ravishda ishlatilgan. Biroq, g'oyalarning rivojlanishiga qolgan ikki sektor haqidagi ma'lumotlarning yo'qligi to'sqinlik qiladi, bu esa umumiy tuzilmani to'liqsiz qilib ko'rsatadi. Havolalar odatda aniq, ammo taqdim etilgan kontentning cheklanganligi sababli bog'liqlik biroz mexanik tuyuladi.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Siz topshiriq uchun 'delineates', 'salient', 'exponential' va 'trajectory' kabi atamalarni ishlatib, yetarli darajadagi lug'at boyligini namoyish etasiz. Bu tanlovlar yanada murakkab tildan foydalanishga urinishni ko'rsatadi. Biroq, so'z shakllari va kollokatsiyalarda sifatga putur yetkazadigan bir nechta xatolar mavjud, masalan, 'study decline' (to'g'risi 'steady' bo'lishi kerak), '2 millions' (to'g'risi '2 million' bo'lishi kerak) va 'agricultural followed' (to'g'risi 'agriculture followed' bo'lishi kerak). Garchi bu xatolar muloqotga to'sqinlik qilmasa-da, ular raqamli ma'lumotlarni muhokama qilishda ko'proq ehtiyotkorlik bilan tekshirish va ko'plik qoidalariga e'tibor berish zarurligini ko'rsatadi.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
Javobda oddiy va murakkab gap tuzilmalari aralashmasidan foydalanilgan. Bir nechta grammatik xatolar mavjud, ayniqsa ko'plik shakllarida ('2 millions', '16 millions') va so'z tanlashda ('the remained of the period' o'rniga 'the remainder' bo'lishi kerak). 'The data plummet sharply' gapida ega-kesim moslashuvi xatosi bor ('data' ko'plikda, lekin 'plummet' to'g'ri shakl bo'lsa-da, kontekst o'tgan zamonni nazarda tutadi, shuning uchun 'plummeted' kerak bo'ladi). Ma'no tushunarli bo'lsa-da, bu kichik xatolarning tez-tez uchrashi javobning yuqoriroq band darajasiga chiqishiga to'sqinlik qiladi. Fe'l zamonlari va ot-son moslashuviga e'tibor qaratish aniqligingizni oshiradi.
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