Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph illustrates the rise and decline of four kinds of jobs in United States between 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it shows the rise and fall of jobs in various sectors from 1960 to 2020 in US. Where some sectors grow over the period of time and some diminish.
In 1960, we have data of four category of jobs, all of them have different proportions. For instance, the percentage of healthcare is about 2.5% and agriculture is around 6 to 6.5% , which is more than double of healthcare at that time. Similarly, the percentage of Retail is equal to agriculture. The jobs in manufacturing is almost about 15% more than all of them.
Furthermore, the rise in jobs and demand of healthcare as compared to agriculture. Also Retail market got rise in 1980 and 2000, but in 2000 healthcare and retail has less difference in jobs percentage as compared to past.
However, in 2020 the proportion of healthcare and retail is about 16% and got equivalent to each other. Foremost, the decrease in manufacturing is about 3 to 4 % in 2020 as compared to 2000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identify the four sectors and mention some trends, the description lacks precision. For example, you state that manufacturing was '15% more than all of them' in 1960, which is unclear and potentially inaccurate based on the data. Furthermore, the trends are described in a fragmented way rather than providing a clear, comparative overview. To improve, ensure you provide specific data points to support your claims and focus on the most significant changes over the 60-year period, such as the dramatic decline in manufacturing versus the steady growth in healthcare.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the logical progression between sentences is often weak. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'However', 'Foremost'). Some sentences feel disconnected, particularly in the third and fourth paragraphs, where the transition between data points is abrupt. To achieve a higher band, focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central theme that flows logically into the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely on basic verbs like 'show', 'grow', and 'diminish'. There are also some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'four category of jobs' (should be 'categories') and 'got rise' (should be 'rose' or 'experienced an increase'). To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'surpassed', or 'remained stable', and pay closer attention to pluralisation and word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'healthcare and retail has less difference'), missing articles (e.g., 'in United States'), and incorrect preposition usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic errors such as plural forms, verb tenses, and the correct use of articles to improve your overall accuracy.
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