Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The provided line graph delineates data regarding the changes in the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US over a sixty-year period spanning from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is immediately salient that healthcare experienced a remarkable upward trend, whereas the converse was true for agriculture, which witnessed a steady decline throughout the timescale. Additionally, the most dramatic growth was registered in retail.
In terms of the detailed statistics, healthcare commenced at approximately 2 million in 1960 and subsequently surged dramatically to reach a peak of 16 million in 2020. Following this exponential growth, the figures plateaued consistently at this high for the remainder of the period. Likewise, retail started at 6 million in 1960 and then increased significantly to 16 million over the period.
By striking contrast, agriculture followed a completely inverted trajectory. The data plummeted sharply from 6 million in 1960, before hitting a rock-bottom of merely 2 million in 2020. Thereafter, this category experienced wild fluctuations until the final year. Similarly, manufacturing started at 15 million in 1960 and then decreased minimally to 13 million over the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
Javob aniq umumiy ko‘rinishni taqdim etadi va asosiy tendensiyalarni samarali yoritib beradi. Siz sog‘liqni saqlash va chakana savdodagi o‘sish hamda qishloq xo‘jaligidagi pasayish kabi asosiy xususiyatlarni muvaffaqiyatli aniqladingiz. Biroq, ma’lumotlarni taqdim etishda ba’zi noaniqliklar mavjud. Masalan, siz sog‘liqni saqlash sohasi 16 millionda 'plateaued consistently' deb ta’kidlaysiz, ammo topshiriq uzluksiz tendensiyani nazarda tutadi va qishloq xo‘jaligining 'wild fluctuations' boshdan kechirganligi haqidagi ta’rifingiz ushbu chiziqli grafiklar uchun odatiy talqin bilan tasdiqlanmaydi. Yuqoriroq band ball olish uchun ma’lumotlar nuqtalaringiz taqdim etilgan vizual ma’lumotlarga aniq mos kelishiga ishonch hosil qiling va ma’lumotlarda aniq ko‘rinmaydigan tendensiyalarni ortiqcha talqin qilishdan saqlaning.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
Insho aniq kirish, umumiy ko‘rinish va ikkita asosiy xatboshidan iborat bo‘lib, mantiqiy tuzilgan. Siz solishtirish jarayonida o‘quvchini yo‘naltirish uchun 'In terms of', 'By striking contrast' va 'Likewise' kabi bog‘lovchi vositalardan foydalangansiz. Turli sohalarni ajratish uchun xatboshilardan to‘g‘ri foydalanilgan. G‘oyalarning rivojlanishi umuman olganda silliq, garchi sohalar tavsifi o‘rtasidagi o‘tish jarayonini ravonlikni yaxshilash uchun biroz takomillashtirish mumkin bo‘lsa-da. Umuman olganda, tuzilma izchil va tushunish oson.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
Siz 'delineates', 'salient', 'exponential growth' va 'inverted trajectory' kabi atamalardan samarali foydalanib, yaxshi lug‘at boyligini namoyish etasiz. Bu uslubni hisobga olgan holda kamroq uchraydigan leksik birliklardan foydalanishga urinishni ko‘rsatadi. Ba’zida so‘z tanlashda kichik muammolar uchraydi, masalan, ma’lumotlar tendensiyasini aniq tasvirlamasligi mumkin bo‘lgan 'wild fluctuations' iborasi. Biroq, lug‘at boyligi umuman olganda aniq va Akademik 1-topshiriq uchun mos bo‘lgan professional ohangni ta’minlaydi.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
Javobda 'The data plummeted sharply from 6 million in 1960, before hitting a rock-bottom of merely 2 million in 2020.' kabi turli xil murakkab gap tuzilmalari qo‘llanilgan. Aksariyat gaplar xatosiz va tinish belgilari hamda zamonlardan foydalanishdagi mahoratingiz kuchli. Muloqotga to‘sqinlik qiladigan jiddiy grammatik xatolar yo‘q. Yuqoriroq ball olish uchun, ko‘proq moslashuvchanlikni namoyish etish maqsadida, majhul nisbat (passive voice) konstruksiyalari yoki turli xil ergash gaplar kabi yanada kengroq murakkab tuzilmalarni kiritishingiz mumkin.
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