Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The following chart displays data about the number of jobs in different sectors of the US economy from the year 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing jobs had a very good rate in US economy .Like in 1960, it rates increases from 15 million to 20 million in 1980, but after this year it had a decline rate for almost about in negative and had 13million jobs left in 2020. The retail had a very good ratio in jobs. It started from 6 million jobs and than it gains so much value that it landed to its peak in 17million jobs in 2020.

In contrast to retailing industry, the agriculture field had a very bad decline rate in employment. It initializes from 6 million and ended at 2 million . However, the health industry had stabilizes and pumps their jobs very much. In 1960, it had only 2.5 million ratio for jobs but it fluctuates dramatically to a positive level and had its maximum jobs in year 2020 with a rate of 16 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in agriculture and the growth in retail and health. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. The description of manufacturing as having a 'very good rate' is imprecise and lacks a professional tone. Furthermore, the data points are occasionally inaccurate or confusingly phrased, such as the reference to a 'negative' rate. To improve, you should focus on using more precise comparative language and ensuring that the data reported directly reflects the graph without subjective commentary like 'very bad' or 'very good'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or awkward. Phrases like 'In contrast to retailing industry' and 'Like in 1960' are grammatically weak and disrupt the flow. While there is an attempt to use transition words, the connections between sentences are sometimes forced. To reach a higher band, you should work on using a wider variety of linking words more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. You rely heavily on basic terms like 'good', 'bad', 'rate', and 'value', which are not appropriate for describing statistical data. Phrases such as 'pumps their jobs' and 'gains so much value' are unnatural and imprecise. There is a lack of academic collocations required for Task 1, such as 'significant increase', 'steady decline', or 'fluctuated'. Expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary related to trends and data analysis is essential for a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include incorrect verb tenses ('it rates increases'), subject-verb agreement ('it had stabilizes'), and awkward sentence structures ('it had a decline rate for almost about in negative'). While you attempt some complex sentences, they are often marred by errors. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around periods. Focusing on basic sentence construction and ensuring correct verb forms will help improve your accuracy significantly.

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