Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
This graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in different four sectors of the economy in the US between six decades from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that jobs are increasing continously in health and retail sector. In manufacturing sector, jobs are showing variability whereas agriculture sector is showing no change.
To begin, In 1960, 15 million jobs are available in manufacturing sector, 6 million jobs are in both retail and agriculture sector but, least 2 million in health sector. In 1980, manufacturing sector grew upto 20 million as well as 10 million in retail sector and 5 million in health sector. But, jobs was drop down in agriculture sector. In 2000 to 2020, jobs decreased continously in manufacturing sector while, jobs increased in both retail and health care sector. But, number of jobs in agriculture sector continously same from 2000 to 2020.
Consequently, jobs increased continously in retail and health care sector but manufacturing sector showed varaibility.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends in the four sectors. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, the claim that agriculture showed 'no change' is contradicted by the visual data, which shows a decline. The overview is present but lacks sufficient detail to fully highlight the most significant trends. While the response addresses the task, the lack of precision in reporting the figures and the failure to accurately describe the trends in the agriculture sector limit the score. To improve, ensure that data points are cited accurately and that the overview synthesizes the most important shifts rather than just listing them.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'To begin', 'Consequently'). The transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt, and the logical progression is hindered by the inaccurate reporting of data. While there is an overall coherent arrangement, the linking of ideas could be more sophisticated and fluid. The paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs needs more variety to achieve a higher band score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks range and precision. There is significant repetition of basic verbs like 'increased', 'decreased', and 'showed'. Phrases such as 'jobs was drop down' are grammatically incorrect and demonstrate a lack of control over collocations. While the meaning is generally clear, the student relies on a very limited set of words to describe trends. To reach a higher band, the student should incorporate more varied vocabulary for describing change, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a downward trend'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'jobs was drop down', 'jobs are showing') and tense usage (e.g., '15 million jobs are available' when referring to 1960). The sentence structures are predominantly simple, with limited attempts at complex sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas. To improve, the student needs to focus on consistent tense usage for historical data and practice more complex sentence structures to demonstrate greater grammatical control.
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