Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
This graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in different four sectors of the economy in the US between six decades from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that jobs are increasing continously in health and retail sector. In manufacturing sector, jobs are showing variability whereas agriculture sector is showing no change.
To begin, In 1960, 15 million jobs are available in manufacturing sector, 6 million jobs are in both retail and agriculture sector but, least 2 million in health sector. In 1980, manufacturing sector grew upto 20 million as well as 10 million in retail sector and 5 million in health sector. But, jobs was drop down in agriculture sector. In 2000 to 2020, jobs decreased continously in manufacturing sector while, jobs increased in both retail and health care sector. But, number of jobs in agriculture sector continously same from 2000 to 2020.
Consequently, jobs increased continously in retail and health care sector but manufacturing sector showed varaibility.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks precision in reporting data points. For instance, stating '15 million jobs are available' in 1960 is inaccurate based on the graph, and the description of the agriculture sector as 'showing no change' is a slight oversimplification of the trend. While the main features are highlighted, the overview is a bit repetitive, and the data selection could be more strategic to better illustrate the shifts over the sixty-year period. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are accurately transcribed and that the overview synthesizes the information rather than just listing trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'To begin', 'In 1980', and 'Consequently'. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel forced. The referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly when discussing multiple sectors in a single sentence. While the progression of ideas is generally logical, the paragraphing could be improved by grouping the sectors based on their trends (e.g., those that grew versus those that declined) rather than just following a chronological list. This would create a more cohesive and professional structure.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There is significant repetition of phrases such as 'jobs are increasing' and 'jobs decreased'. The student uses basic terminology like 'showing variability' and 'no change', which could be replaced with more sophisticated academic vocabulary. There are also some minor errors in word choice, such as 'health care sector' versus 'health sector' used inconsistently. To improve, the student should aim to use a wider range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and incorporate more precise collocations related to economic data reporting.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('jobs was drop down', 'jobs... continously same') and tense inconsistencies ('15 million jobs are available' when referring to 1960). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on consistent verb tenses for past data and improving subject-verb agreement would significantly enhance the quality of the writing.
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