Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between the period of 1960 to 2020.
Overall, there are four type of jobs in four different sectors. The first and number job was about manufacturing. It is the highest economy job rather than others. In 1960 it varies at 15 million and increases to 20 million in 1980 and then decrease and reached at approximately 13 million in 2020. Retail jobs were also stood 6 million in 1960 and gradually increases and reached to 16 million by the period of 2020. Agricultural jobs same as retail jobs in 1960 but after this period its regularly decreased and stands at 3 million in 2020. The fourth and the last one job is about healthcare, its stood at 3 million in 1960 and continuously increases and reached to 16 million in 2020.
In summary, there are four types of jobs which increases and decreases by the period of 1960 to 2020. Manufacturing was the highest number of jobs while agricultural was the lowest number of jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the overview is weak; it merely states that jobs increase and decrease, failing to highlight the significant shifts, such as the decline of manufacturing or the growth of healthcare. The description of data is sometimes imprecise, such as saying manufacturing 'varies at 15 million' in 1960, when it is a specific point. To improve, ensure the overview synthesises the data rather than just repeating the fact that there are four sectors. The summary paragraph at the end is redundant and does not add new analytical value.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the progression of ideas is mechanical. The use of cohesive devices is limited and repetitive, often relying on simple conjunctions like 'and' or 'but'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as 'The first and number job', which is confusing. The transition between sentences lacks variety, making the flow feel somewhat disjointed. To improve, use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'meanwhile') to connect ideas more fluidly and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'number of jobs' and 'in 1960' are used repeatedly. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'highest economy job' and 'Retail jobs were also stood'. These errors occasionally make the meaning slightly awkward, though the reader can still follow the intended message. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'plummeted', or 'remained stable', and avoid repeating the same sentence structures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they often contain grammatical errors, such as 'its regularly decreased and stands at 3 million' (incorrect pronoun usage and tense inconsistency). Subject-verb agreement is frequently problematic, for example, 'Retail jobs were also stood' and 'there are four type of jobs'. Punctuation is generally functional, but the lack of variety in sentence construction limits the score. Focusing on consistent verb tenses and correct subject-verb agreement will significantly improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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