Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart illustrates the employment count in different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Units are measured in millions.
Overall, the mentioned sectors plays an important role in the growth of the economy, the work opportunities in the retail and healthcare have higher ranks. However, the agriculture remains decline throughout the years.
To begin with, it is quite evident from the chart that in the 1960, manufacturing is at the top of the list with 15 millions job count and got some incline over some years and then shows a significant decline to below than 15 millions in the 2020. However, the agriculture starts with just above the 5 millions and remains decline over the 1960 and 2020.
Furthermore, the retail creates the opportunities from just over 5 millions and have significant incline to just above 15 millions in the years 1960 and 2020. Additionally, the healthcare in 1960 have less employment count in between 0 to 5 and make significant improvements over the years and inline to above 15 millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the description of manufacturing is slightly inaccurate regarding the timeline of its peak and decline. While the main features are highlighted, the comparison between sectors could be more integrated. The overview is present but lacks a clear synthesis of the data, focusing more on listing individual trends rather than comparing the overall economic shift. To improve, ensure data points are cited more accurately and focus on grouping sectors by their shared trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'Additionally' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel forced. Referencing is generally clear, but the progression of ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is sufficient for a Band 6, but more variety and more natural integration of these links would elevate the score to a higher band.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends using terms like 'incline', 'decline', and 'significant improvements'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'employment count' instead of 'number of jobs' or 'employment levels', and 'inline to above' which is unclear. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoiding the repetition of basic verbs like 'get' or 'make'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('the mentioned sectors plays', 'the agriculture remains decline') and incorrect preposition usage ('in the 1960', 'in between 0 to 5'). While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors in basic grammar and tense usage prevent the response from achieving a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage would significantly improve the quality of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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