Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
the graph defines or state the information approximate the several number of jobs in the US between 1960 and 2020 in mainly four sectors .
Among the all four sectors . Manufacturing got 15 millions of jobs in the year 1960 and touched 20 million in the year 1990 but after twenty million there is a significant decrease in 2000 and 2020 .Moreover, in compare of all the sectors the lowest is healthcare because there is unexpectedly no job in the year 1960 but after that there is a significant rise in 1990 till 5 million and it further increases to 10 in 2000 in addition got 15 million in 2020.
Among the two sectors . there is two more which are retail and agriculture . first we will talk about the retail . Moreover the retail got 5 million jobs in the year 1960 and there is also an significant upward rise in the year 1990 to 2000 . and after the tear 2000 it stays constant till 2020.
In the chart we got total of 25 million of jobs in the US between 1960 and 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors, but the analysis is inconsistent and lacks a clear overview. While you identify some trends, the summary is fragmented and fails to highlight the most significant features or comparisons effectively. For instance, the concluding sentence about a 'total of 25 million' is inaccurate and does not reflect the data presented in the graph. To improve, ensure you provide a clear overview of the main trends (e.g., the shift from manufacturing to service-based sectors) and avoid listing data points without synthesizing them into meaningful comparisons. The report lacks a professional tone and fails to group the data logically.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'Moreover, in compare of all the sectors' and 'first we will talk about the retail'. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between ideas feels disjointed. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs does not support a clear flow of information. To improve, focus on using linking words more naturally and ensure each paragraph has a clear thematic focus rather than just listing sectors one by one.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on basic terms like 'got', 'there is', and 'rise'. There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'in compare of' instead of 'in comparison with' and 'after the tear 2000' (likely a typo for 'year'). The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the basic message, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band score. Try to incorporate more specific verbs and nouns related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a steady decline'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors, including issues with articles, prepositions, and sentence structure. Examples include 'the graph defines or state', 'Among the all four sectors', and 'in addition got 15 million'. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the punctuation is often erratic, such as placing periods before commas or using them incorrectly. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction limits the score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage when describing historical data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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