Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the highest sector was manufacturing from year 1960 to year 2000 due to there was 20 million jobs over there. The lowest sector was healthcare from year 1960 to 1980. But in 2000 to 2020 this sector was grown and rich to 15 million people finding jobs in 2020.
Firstly, in this line graph the first manufacturing sector was the sector above other three constantly in 2000. But after 2000 the sector was slightly decreased. The second sector was inconstantly increased. But after 2000 to 2020 the sector was stable at least their was 15 million jobs over there. sector was inconstantly increased. But after 2000 to 2020 the sector was stable at least there was 15 million jobs over there.
Secondly, the third agricultural sector was in 1960 there was only 5.5 million jobs available. but as compared to year 1980 to 2000 that sector constantly decreased like only 4 million jobs are available. The last sector healthcare was dramatically increased in 1980 to 2020. There was in 1960 only 4 million jobs are available but in 2020 there was more available like 15 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks precision. While you identify the trends for the four sectors, the description of the data is occasionally inaccurate or confusing, such as the claim that manufacturing was the highest sector 'constantly in 2000'. The overview is present but lacks a clear synthesis of the most significant trends. To improve, ensure you clearly distinguish between the starting and ending points and highlight the most notable changes, such as the dramatic growth in healthcare versus the decline in agriculture, rather than listing data points in a repetitive manner.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'the sector' and 'there was'. There are also issues with logical progression; for instance, the third paragraph contains a repetitive sentence ('sector was inconstantly increased...'), which disrupts the flow. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'meanwhile') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus without repeating information.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic descriptors like 'increased' and 'decreased' repeatedly. Phrases like 'rich to 15 million' are unnatural and inaccurate in this context. There is also a lack of variety in reporting verbs and nouns related to data trends. To improve, incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'experienced a steady climb', and ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate for an academic report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include incorrect verb tenses ('this sector was grown'), subject-verb agreement ('there was 20 million jobs'), and awkward sentence construction ('at least their was 15 million jobs over there'). The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with some errors in basic syntax. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive voice for reporting data. Proofreading for basic errors like 'their' versus 'there' will also significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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