Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrate the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US between 1960 to 2020.
In an overview, the increasing job sectors from 1960 to 2020 was in retail and healthcare, in the 2020 both were reached about 15 million. And the lowest number of job is in agriculture, also in the 1960 the manufacturing sectors was high in that year and in 2020 it have been decreased.
Firstly, the two sectors that are retail and healthcare. From 1960 to 2020 these both sectors has widely increased from 5 million to 15 million. But in the case of healthcare it was started from about 1 million and in 2020 it ended with 15 million. However, the retail sector was started from 5 million.
Secondly, in the manufacturing and agriculture sector these are the lowest number of job in the economy. In the
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. Furthermore, the response is incomplete, ending abruptly in the middle of a sentence. While you have identified some main features, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in manufacturing, the analysis is underdeveloped. You have not provided a complete summary of all four sectors, and the lack of a conclusion or a fully developed body paragraph means the task is not fully addressed. To improve, ensure you complete the analysis of all data points and provide a clear, comprehensive overview that covers the entire period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a logical structure due to its incomplete nature. While you have attempted to use cohesive devices like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly', the progression of ideas is interrupted by the unfinished final paragraph. Paragraphing is present but ineffective because the content within the paragraphs is fragmented. To improve, focus on creating a clear introduction, a well-structured overview, and distinct body paragraphs that compare the data points logically. Ensure that each paragraph is fully developed before moving to the next, and use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'number of jobs' and 'increased from X to Y' are used frequently. There are also some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'the increasing job sectors... was in retail', which is grammatically awkward. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'experienced a significant surge', 'witnessed a steady decline', or 'remained relatively stable'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you describe the data more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'The line graph illustrate' (subject-verb agreement), 'in the 2020 both were reached' (incorrect preposition and passive voice usage), and 'it have been decreased' (incorrect tense). The sentence structures are mostly simple, and the attempt at complex structures often results in errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and verb tenses. Practice using a mix of simple and complex sentences, ensuring that your use of articles and prepositions is accurate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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