Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of employement in four sectors of the United State Economy : Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare which is measured in millions between 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Manufacturing at intial produce significantly growth which later project to its declined while retail shows gradual increase throughout. Subsequently, Healthcare experienced steady upward as compared to Agriculture which dripped downward.
Manufacturing produced 15 million jobs at intial in 1960 then dropped dramatically over the six decades to 13 million while retail shows tremendous rise in its trajectory with 6 million employement in 1960 to 15 million in 2000 which crosses behind the manufacturing and produced around 16 million jobs in 2020.
Agriculture demonstrate steady decline in 1960 it produced 6 million jobs same as retail but shows decrease over the decades in 1960 3 million jobs and 2 millions in 2020 while healthcare shows increase upward trajectory
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends for all four sectors, the analysis is somewhat superficial. You have attempted to report the main features and make comparisons, such as noting when retail overtook manufacturing, but the data points are occasionally confusing or inaccurate (e.g., the description of agriculture's figures). To improve, ensure you provide a more precise overview of the data and double-check your figures against the graph to ensure accuracy. The under-length penalty is applied here as the response is 149 words.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, which provides a basic logical structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or awkward, such as the use of 'Subsequently' and 'which' to link clauses. Paragraphing is present, but the final paragraph is incomplete and lacks a clear concluding thought. The progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by grammatical errors, making the flow feel disjointed. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'produced', 'shows', and 'increase'. There are also several spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'employement' instead of 'employment', 'intial' instead of 'initial', and 'dripped' instead of 'dropped'. These errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'surpassed', and pay closer attention to spelling accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include incorrect verb tenses ('Manufacturing produced... then dropped'), missing articles, and awkward phrasing ('which crosses behind the manufacturing'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of colons and commas. The frequency of these errors means that the reader must occasionally re-read sentences to understand the intended meaning. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage would significantly improve the clarity of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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