Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The graph illustrates the number of jobs available in four different sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020.
Looking from an overall perspective, it is crystal clear that employment in the retail and healthcare sectors increased significantly over the period. In contrast, the number of jobs in manufacturing and agriculture declined. While manufacturing remained one of the largest employment sectors for most of the period, healthcare became the leading sector by 2020. Agriculture, meanwhile, was consistently the smallest employer.
At first glance, in 1960, approximately 15 million people were employed in the manufacturing sector. This figure peaked at 20 million in 1980 before declining steadily to around 13 million by 2020. Regarding agriculture, about 6 million jobs were available in 1960. The number then fell to 3 million in 1980 and remained stable until 2000, after which it decreased further to roughly 2 million in 2020.
Moving ahead, the retail and healthcare sectors experienced considerable growth throughout the period. In 1960, there were around 6 million jobs in retail and only 2 million in healthcare. By 1980, these figures had risen to 10 million and 5 million respectively. Employment in both sectors continued to increase, reaching approximately 15 million in retail and 16 million in healthcare by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response effectively addresses all requirements of the task. You have provided a clear overview of the trends, identifying the growth in retail and healthcare alongside the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. The main features are well-selected, and you have made relevant comparisons, such as noting that healthcare became the leading sector by 2020. The data is accurately reported, and the structure allows for a logical progression of information. You have successfully highlighted the key shifts in the US economy over the sixty-year period, ensuring the reader understands the overall narrative of the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs that group the data by sector trends. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'While', 'At first glance', and 'Moving ahead' are used effectively to guide the reader through the information. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the declining sectors from the growing ones. The flow of ideas is smooth, and referencing is clear throughout the text, making the information easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary appropriate for an Academic Task 1 response. Phrases like 'employment in the retail and healthcare sectors increased significantly', 'remained one of the largest employment sectors', and 'consistently the smallest employer' are precise and natural. You avoid repetition by using varied terminology to describe trends. While the vocabulary is accurate and fits the context well, incorporating a few more sophisticated, less common lexical items related to economic trends could elevate the score further.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0
The response displays a high level of grammatical control. You use a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences with subordinate clauses (e.g., 'While manufacturing remained one of the largest employment sectors for most of the period, healthcare became the leading sector by 2020'). Punctuation is accurate, and there are virtually no grammatical errors. The majority of your sentences are error-free, and the control over tense usage—specifically the past simple for historical data—is consistent and correct throughout the report.
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