Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph represents the infomation about the total number of jobs created by four sectors like manufacturing ,agriculture and retaill in addition to healthcare sectors during the time period of 1960 to 2020 in US.
Overall, the amount of jobs in manufacturing sector decreased at the end however both healthcare and retail sectors show moderate growth over the time period of [redacted phone].
At the first glance,in 1960 about 15 millions jobs were created by manufacturing sector and it increased till 1980 by 5 million and moderately dropped down in 2020.Where as the overall number of jobs in agriculture were 5 million and it also fell down up to 2 million in 2020.
At the second glance , retail sector was able to offer 5 million jobs at starting .However it rose up constantly till end where as healthcare sector provides lowest number of jobs approx 2 million in 1960 then it increased up to 15 million in 2020.In 2020 both retail in addition to healthcare system were on the same position .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the description of the manufacturing sector is slightly inaccurate regarding the timeline of the peak, and the comparison between sectors in 2020 could be more precise. While the main features are highlighted, the report lacks a clear, analytical overview that synthesizes the data effectively. The inclusion of specific data points is helpful, but the overall summary could be more cohesive to better reflect the significant shifts in the US economy over the sixty-year period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'At the first glance' and 'At the second glance' are not standard academic transitions and feel forced. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the transition between the description of the retail and healthcare sectors. While there is a clear progression of ideas, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the somewhat awkward paragraph transitions limit the flow of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends such as 'increased', 'dropped down', and 'moderate growth'. However, there are several spelling errors, such as 'infomation' and 'retaill', and some word choices are imprecise or informal, such as 'at starting' and 'on the same position'. The range of vocabulary is limited, relying on basic descriptors rather than more precise academic terminology suitable for describing data trends. To improve, the student should focus on using more varied synonyms for growth and decline and ensure accurate spelling of key terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Issues include missing articles ('in US'), incorrect preposition usage ('in 1960' vs 'during 1960'), and awkward phrasing ('it rose up constantly till end'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. The student should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles in academic writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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