Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The below graph illustrates the jobs in 4 different sectors of US economy in between 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it can be seen that the manufacturing sector has recorded the highest jobs in US economy till 2000. Looking at Agriculture sector had least number of jobs in past 60 years.
In terms of the highest number of the jobs in the economy the manufacturing leaves other three sectors behind till 2000, furthermore the sudden job fall in manufacturing sector in 20 years(2000 - 2020). Retailing and Healthcare sectors had a consistent raise with a 15 million jobs by 2020.
Turning to the Agriculture sector, has the least job in between 1980 to 2020. This sector has produced least number of jobs as compared to other sectors in US economy in 1960 to 2020. The Retail sector and Health care sector has a similar number of jobs accounted by the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the manufacturing sector's dominance and subsequent decline, as well as the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, stating 'a 15 million jobs' is vague and does not accurately reflect the specific trends or figures shown in the graph. The overview is present but could be more effectively integrated to highlight the most significant trends rather than just listing observations. To improve, ensure that specific data points are used to support the comparisons made between the sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For example, the phrase 'furthermore the sudden job fall' is used awkwardly to connect two distinct ideas. Additionally, some sentences lack logical flow, such as the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the progression of ideas could be smoother. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would significantly enhance the overall coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'highest jobs' and 'least number of jobs' are used multiple times, which limits the range. There are also minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'recorded the highest jobs' instead of 'recorded the highest number of jobs' and 'consistent raise' instead of 'consistent rise'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and avoid repeating the same sentence structures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include missing articles ('in US economy'), subject-verb agreement errors ('Agriculture sector, has the least job'), and awkward phrasing ('the manufacturing leaves other three sectors behind'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be highly beneficial.
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