Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph provides information about the numbers of jobs of four different sectors of the economy in the United States in 60 years between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, in this time period there is a significant increase in the number of jobs in retail and healthcare sectors of the economy in the US while the number of jobs in manufacturing and agriculture sectors decreased gradually.
First of all, in 1960, the number of jobs in healthcare sector was almost 2 million which increased to more then 15 million respectively at the end of the period in 2020. Then in case of retail and agriculture sectors, in 1960, the number of jobs are almost the same but in 2020 the number of jobs in retail sector increased to more then 15 million while that number decreased to around 2 million at the end of the time period.
After that, in 1960, the number of jobs in manufacturing sector was 15 million which then increased to 20 million in 1980 and after some time it decreased to approximately 13 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that the number of jobs in the retail sector increased to more than 15 million, but the graph shows it reaching approximately 15 million, and you mention the agriculture sector decreased to around 2 million, which is also slightly inaccurate based on the visual data. Additionally, the comparison between retail and agriculture in 1960 is not fully supported by the graph, as the starting points differ. To improve, ensure that data points are read precisely and that comparisons are supported by the specific figures provided in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'First of all', 'Then', and 'After that' to transition between ideas. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the use of 'that number' when referring back to the agriculture sector. To reach a higher band, try to use a wider range of linking words and ensure that the relationship between sentences is more fluid and less dependent on simple sequential markers.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to describe trends such as 'significant increase' and 'decreased gradually'. However, there is a lack of variety in your word choice, and you rely on repetitive phrasing. There are also minor errors in word choice, such as 'numbers of jobs of four different sectors' (should be 'in four different sectors'). To improve, incorporate more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and avoid repeating the same sentence structures when discussing different sectors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'more then' (should be 'more than'), 'jobs are almost the same' (should be 'were almost the same' to maintain tense consistency), and 'in 60 years between 1960 and 2020' (which is slightly redundant). There are also issues with article usage and tense consistency throughout the response. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and consistent past tense usage will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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