Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the figures of jobs available in four different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing sector initially showed sharp increase while a decline in its trajectory is seen by the concluding year. Further, healthcare significantly rose through out the time period.

In 1960, manufacturing sector began at 15 million jobs. However, in following 2 decades it achieved more 5 million jobs and a sharp decline to approximately 14 million in the concluding year 2020. Moreover, the retail industry shows an upward trend from 6 million jobs to its highest of 16 million throughout 80 years of time period.

Healthcare sector contributed nearly 3 million jobs to the economy. However, by 40 years of time period these figures aviated to 11 million and concluded to 16 million in the year 2020. Further, the agriculture sector initially stated a trajectory of 6 million which later declined by 3 million in the year 1980 and continued to maintain its stability throughout the following decades.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends for all four sectors. You provided a clear overview and supported your points with data from the graph. However, there are some inaccuracies in your data reporting. For instance, you mention the manufacturing sector reached 14 million in 2020, but the graph shows it closer to 12 million. Additionally, you state the retail industry reached 16 million, whereas the graph indicates it is closer to 15 million. To improve, ensure your data extraction is precise. While you covered all parts of the task, the lack of precision in reporting figures prevents a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. You use some cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Moreover', and 'Further' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel slightly forced. For example, the transition between the manufacturing and retail sectors could be smoother. The referencing is generally clear, but the overall progression of ideas could be more sophisticated to achieve a higher band. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus to improve the logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'trajectory', 'fluctuated', and 'stability'. However, there are some awkward word choices and inaccuracies. For example, 'aviated' is not appropriate in this context; 'soared' or 'increased' would be more natural. 'Stated a trajectory' is also non-standard phrasing. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, you need to use less common items with greater precision and awareness of collocation to reach a higher band. Focus on using academic vocabulary that fits the context of data reporting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'achieved more 5 million jobs' (missing 'than') and 'through out the time period' (should be 'throughout'). You also have issues with article usage, such as 'in following 2 decades' (should be 'in the following two decades'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on proofreading for small errors like missing articles, prepositions, and comparative structures.

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