Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph illustrates the employment trends across four US economic sectors from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Healthcare employment increased through out the given period. Whereas, Agriculture accounted the lowest number of job. Furthermore, significant changing happened to Manufacturing department peaking at early declined in later years.
Healthcare at around 2(Million) in 1960 and the numbers increased every twenty years surged to round about 15(million) by 2020. Similar development happen in Retail sector staring at about 6% consistently rose to around 15(million) same as that of healthcare.
Manufacturing`s sector recording the 15(million) in 1960 further jumped to 20(million) in 1980 and declined to about 15% despite being the only sector to consistently ruled in three decades it`s number decreased to almost 12(million) by 2020. Additionally, Agriculture obtained the lowest number at 5(million) in 1960 gradually decreased to about 2% by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends and provided some data points, the analysis is hampered by the length issue and some inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you mention '15%' for Manufacturing in 2020, which is unclear given the context of millions of jobs. To improve, ensure you provide a clear overview and support all claims with accurate data from the graph. The under-length nature of the response means the task is not fully addressed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical flow is often interrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, 'Whereas, Agriculture accounted the lowest number of job' is grammatically fragmented and lacks a clear connection to the previous sentence. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes misused, such as the abrupt start to the second paragraph. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'in contrast', 'subsequently', 'meanwhile') to connect ideas more fluidly between and within paragraphs.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased', 'jumped', and 'decreased'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'Manufacturing department' (should be 'sector') and 'consistently ruled' (which is unclear). Furthermore, the inconsistent use of units—switching between millions and percentages—creates confusion for the reader. To improve, aim to use more precise reporting verbs and nouns, and ensure consistency in how you present numerical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'Healthcare employment increased through out the given period' (missing 'the'), 'Agriculture accounted the lowest number of job' (should be 'jobs'), and 'Similar development happen' (should be 'happened'). Your sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at complex sentences often contain errors in subject-verb agreement or tense. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, before attempting more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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