Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph illustrates the number of opportunities that are included in the four department of US economy which are ( manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) in the year of 1960 to 2020.
Overall, manufacture sector played very important role in the economy of us throughout the years. While the agriculture department did not play an important role in the productivity of the US.
The Manufacturing sector fluctuated all the years. In 1960 they have 15 million and in 1980 they escalated to 20 million jobs but later on the trend went down to 13 million in the end of 2020. Retail department had very less jobs in 1960 with the number of 5 million but later on the number of jobs escalated to 15 million in 2020.
Agriculture department had 5 million jobs in the start but after years the numbers went down and in the end of 2020 few jobs were available. The last sector which is healthcare department it has no jobs in 1960 but later on the interest is increased in the people and it goes to 16 million by the end of 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
You have successfully identified the main trends for all four sectors. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; stating that agriculture did not play an important role is subjective and not supported by the data, which shows it started at 5 million jobs. To improve, ensure your overview focuses on objective trends, such as the significant growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. Additionally, some data points are imprecise, such as describing the end of 2020 for agriculture as having 'few jobs' rather than providing a specific figure. Aim to report the data more precisely to meet the requirements for a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite basic and repetitive. You rely heavily on simple transitions like 'In 1960' and 'later on'. To improve, try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more fluidly, such as 'In contrast', 'Conversely', or 'Following this period'. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal flow within paragraphs could be enhanced by varying your sentence structures and using more sophisticated referencing to avoid repeating the same sentence patterns.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You frequently use simple verbs like 'had', 'went down', and 'escalated'. While these are understandable, they are somewhat repetitive. To improve, incorporate more specific vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'witnessed a decline', 'experienced a surge', or 'remained relatively stable'. You also have some minor word choice issues, such as referring to sectors as 'departments'. Expanding your range of academic collocations will significantly improve your score in this criterion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. For example, 'the four department of US economy' should be 'the four sectors of the US economy', and 'in the year of 1960 to 2020' should be 'between 1960 and 2020'. There are also issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement, such as 'healthcare department it has no jobs'. To reach a higher band, focus on proofreading for basic errors and try to incorporate more complex sentence forms, such as relative clauses or passive voice, with greater accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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