Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the numbers of jobs( in millions) in four distinct economic sectors named manufacturing, retail , agriculture and healthcare in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall , employment in retail and healthcare rose significantly over the period,whilst opposite trend was noticed in manufacturing and agriculture fileds.

Manufacturing sector was ahead of all in 1960 with 19 million jobs , this number rose drastically for twenty consecutive years before it fell to around 16 millions in 2000.By the end of the period number of jobs in this sector declined merely by 2 millions. The jobs in the healthcare sectors were below 5 millions in 1960. Although jobs in healthcare were less in initial year, the notable growth in jobs was experienced by the US in healthcare by the end of the period and reached acme at 16 millions.

In retail and agriculture economic sectors 5 millions employment opportunities were present in 1960. The continuous increase in jobs was experienced by the former sector till 2000 before it became stable and equal to healthcare in 2020. While , employment in latter sector decreased drastically till 1980 and the jobs in this field plateaued at just 2 millions after 40 years .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. You successfully identified the main trends, such as the rise in healthcare and retail versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the data. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting; for instance, you state that manufacturing fell to 16 million in 2000, but the graph shows it was higher, and your description of the decline in manufacturing is slightly imprecise. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are cited with greater precision and that comparisons between sectors are more explicitly linked throughout the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into four paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'although', 'while', and 'before' are used to connect ideas. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by mechanical phrasing, such as 'While , employment in latter sector'. The use of referencing is generally clear, but some transitions between sentences feel slightly abrupt. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring smoother transitions between the description of different sectors would enhance the overall coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information, using terms like 'drastically', 'plateaued', and 'acme'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'opposite trend was noticed in manufacturing and agriculture fileds' (should be 'fields') and 'initial year' (should be 'the initial year'). While the vocabulary is adequate for the task, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for a higher band. Attempting to use more varied collocations related to data trends would help elevate the lexical quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including missing articles ('in healthcare sectors', 'in manufacturing and agriculture fileds') and punctuation issues, such as the space before the comma in 'retail , agriculture'. Additionally, some phrasing is slightly awkward, such as 'Manufacturing sector was ahead of all'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on consistent article usage and refining sentence structure for better flow will improve your accuracy.

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