Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four economic sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the number of retail and healthcare jobs increased throughout the period. In contrast, the number of jobs in the manufacturing and agriculture sector showed a dramatic decrease especially after 1980.
In 1960, the employment opportunities in the manufacturing sector grew slightly from 15 million to 20 million, this figure then plummeted significantly to around 17 million by the end of the period. Similarly, the number of jobs in the agriculture sector showed a constant decline over the period starting from almost 6 million to approximately 2 million in 2020.
Additionally, the number of jobs in the retail sector rose significantly throughout the period. This figure grew to 10 million before climbing to approximately 16 million at the end. Furthermore, the number of jobs in the healthcare sector showed the same trend as the retail sector. The figure started from almost 2 million in 1960 and surged over the period to reach around 16 million by the end.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as contrasting the growth in retail and healthcare with the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, there is a factual error in your description of the manufacturing sector; you stated it grew from 15 to 20 million before falling, whereas the graph indicates it started at approximately 20 million and remained relatively stable before declining. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are read with absolute precision, as misinterpreting the starting or ending figures can impact the accuracy of your summary.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized, with a clear introduction, an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs focusing on the declining and increasing sectors respectively. You use cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Similarly', and 'Furthermore' effectively to guide the reader through the information. The progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow. To improve, ensure that the transition between sentences within paragraphs is slightly more varied to avoid a repetitive structure, but overall, the paragraphing is appropriate and the flow of information is logical.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, using terms like 'plummeted', 'surged', and 'constant decline'. This allows for some precision in your reporting. However, there is some repetition of the phrase 'number of jobs' and 'throughout the period'. To move into the higher bands, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'number of jobs' (e.g., 'employment levels', 'workforce figures') and vary your time-related expressions. The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but lacks the more sophisticated, less common lexical items that would demonstrate a wider, more flexible range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and your control of grammar is generally good. Most of your sentences are error-free, and the meaning is always clear. There are minor issues, such as the comma splice in the third paragraph ('...20 million, this figure then plummeted...'), which should be corrected with a semicolon or a full stop. While you show a good command of basic structures, incorporating a wider variety of complex grammatical forms—such as passive voice or more advanced relative clauses—would help demonstrate greater flexibility and accuracy, potentially pushing your score higher.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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