Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given graph illustrates the data of the numbers of jobs in four professions, i.e., Healthcare, Agriculture, Retail and Manufacturing in the United States over sixty years.
Overall, the retailing and healthcare jobs are far more beneficial than any other, in contrast the manufacturing and agricultural jobs declined with the passage of time.
In the 1960, the jobs in retailer and agriculture industry stood at the same ratio roughly equivalent to 6 six million, but the retailer jobs increased steadily and crossed 15 million in 2020, that was its peak. But the jobs in agriculture declined rapidly and in 2020 its ratio was below the 5 million.
Furthermore, the jobs in manufacturing observed severe fluctuation. It spiked after 1960 and reached its peak of 20 million in 1980 and constantly declined below 15 million, while the jobs in health sector has increased readily, without any fluctuation. In 1960, it was below 5 million but steadily spiked and reached its peak in 2020. Interestingly, both retail and healthcare jobs in 2020 falls at same point.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the 60-year period. The overview is clear, highlighting the growth in retail and healthcare versus the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, the analysis is slightly hampered by inaccurate data reporting. For instance, stating that retail and agriculture started at 'roughly equivalent to 6 million' is imprecise, and the claim that retail and healthcare jobs 'fall at the same point' in 2020 is not supported by the visual data. While the main features are selected, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score. The response would benefit from more careful observation of the graph's specific values.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', and 'Interestingly' are used to guide the reader. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'in contrast the manufacturing and agricultural jobs declined'. The use of referencing is generally clear, though the paragraphing could be more balanced to ensure a smoother progression of ideas. Overall, the text is coherent, and the paragraphing is sufficient for the task, though the mechanical nature of some transitions limits the score to a 6.5.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some attempts at topic-specific language like 'fluctuation', 'steadily', and 'professions'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'far more beneficial' is an inappropriate descriptor for job numbers, and 'readily' is used incorrectly to mean 'steadily'. Additionally, the repetition of 'jobs' and 'peak' indicates a limited range. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise terminology for trends, such as 'surged', 'plummeted', or 'remained stable', and avoid using subjective adjectives like 'beneficial' when describing statistical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'In the 1960' (should be 'In 1960'), 'retailer jobs' (should be 'retail jobs'), and subject-verb agreement issues like 'jobs... falls at same point' (should be 'fall at the same point'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band. The use of punctuation is generally acceptable, but the control over articles and pluralization needs more attention to achieve a higher level of accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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