Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph depicts the information about the number of employments in four economical sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of employments in retail and healthcare sectors increased, while the figures decreased in manufacturing and agricultural departments.

Initially, there was about 3 million job opportunities in healthcare departments in 1960, the proportion increased to 5 million jobs in 1980, then grew significantly to around 16 million employments by the end of the period. Similarly, the retail professions started from about 6 million in 1960, rose dramatically to approximately 15 million work positions in the year 2000, then showed a slight increase to around 16 million positions in 2020.

However, the career facilities in agricultural departments was almost 7 million by the start, which declined gradually to around 3 million employments in 1980, and remained almost constant over the period.

Additionally, manufacturing roles begins from approximately 15 million in 1960, that climbed to 20 million occupations in 1980, after that plummeted steadily to about 13 million at the end.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response successfully identifies the main trends and provides a clear overview of the data. You have selected key features, such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture and manufacturing, and supported these with relevant data points. However, the report could be improved by making more direct comparisons between the sectors, rather than just describing them in isolation. For instance, noting that healthcare overtook manufacturing as a major employer by the end of the period would strengthen the analytical aspect of the task. Overall, the response covers all parts of the prompt effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs dedicated to specific sectors. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Similarly', 'However', and 'Additionally' helps to guide the reader through the information. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the growing sectors from the declining ones. While the flow is generally good, some transitions between sentences feel slightly mechanical. To reach a higher band, ensure that the relationship between ideas is more fluid and that referencing is consistently precise throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly, using terms like 'plummeted', 'dramatically', and 'gradually'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation. For example, 'number of employments' is unnatural; 'number of jobs' or 'employment levels' would be more accurate. Similarly, 'career facilities' is an incorrect term for economic sectors. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise academic vocabulary to reach the higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('manufacturing roles begins', 'career facilities... was') and tense inconsistencies ('that climbed' instead of 'which climbed'). While these errors are noticeable, they do not prevent the reader from understanding the data. To improve, focus on ensuring that verbs agree with their subjects and that relative clauses are introduced correctly. Increasing the variety of complex structures while maintaining accuracy will help elevate your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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