Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph depicts the information regarding the number of jobs in four various sectors of the economy in US from 1960 to 2020. Data is provided in millions .
Overall, jobs in retail and health care sector were showed an increasing trend while agriculture followed and opposite trend and number of jobs in manufacturing showed fluctuations.
In 1960 , 15 millions jobs were accounted in manufacturing sector , after a period of 20 years ,number of jobs increased by 5 million which was peak point and after 1980 it declined to 13 millions in 2020. In agriculture sector jobs were accounted for 4 millions and it gradually decreased to 3 million in 2020.
In retail sector 6 million jobs can be noted in 1960 ,number of jobs sharply rose to 15 millions till 2000 and fromm 2000 to 2020 it remained almost constant. Jobs in health care sector can be recorded as 3 millions in 1960 and sharply increased to 15 million till 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the 60-year period. You successfully highlighted the growth in retail and health care, the decline in agriculture, and the fluctuations in manufacturing. However, the overview is slightly weak; while it mentions trends, it could be more analytical by grouping the sectors more effectively. Some data points are slightly inaccurate (e.g., stating 15 million for manufacturing in 1960 when the graph shows 20 million). To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are read precisely from the graph and that the overview provides a more comprehensive summary of the overall patterns rather than just listing trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. There is a clear progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. For example, the transition between sentences often relies on simple structures. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'subsequently') to connect the data points more fluidly. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors, which helps the reader follow the information.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'increasing trend', and 'sharply rose'. However, there are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'were showed' instead of 'showed' and 'fromm' (spelling error). The phrasing '15 millions jobs were accounted in' is slightly unnatural; 'accounted for 15 million jobs' would be more precise. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and ensuring accuracy in pluralization and spelling, as these minor errors prevent the response from reaching a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb forms and articles (e.g., 'were showed an increasing trend', 'followed and opposite trend', '15 millions jobs'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and missing articles before nouns. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Increasing the variety of complex structures and proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would significantly enhance the quality of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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