Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph provides data regarding the number of employments in four categories of the economy in the US over 50 years during 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing job industry had most job before seeing a gradual decline. Retail and health sector grew significantly. Whereas jobs in the agriculture sector were least common,

Manufacturing industry provided 15 million jobs in 1960 which after soaring to 20 million gradually declined until 2020 coming under 15 million. On the other hand, the agriculture sector jobs started low as around 6 million which keep on declining to around 2 million by 2020.

Healthcare and retail industry jobs had seen an upward trend both ranking at the top by 2020. Retail starting at over 5 million soared to over 15 million after increasing steadily over the given period of time. Regarding health care which initially offered least job in 1960 rose significantly to provide over 15 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline of manufacturing and agriculture alongside the growth of retail and healthcare. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped. While you mention the main trends, the summary could be more precise by explicitly stating the final positions of the sectors in 2020. The data points are generally accurate, but the description of the manufacturing sector is slightly confusing, as it states it started at 15 million, rose to 20, and then fell 'under 15', which is a clear summary of the trend. Overall, the response meets the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is clear, moving from general trends to specific sector details. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand' and 'Regarding', which help the flow. However, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is a bit abrupt, and some sentences feel slightly disjointed. Improving the use of linking words to connect sentences within paragraphs would enhance the overall coherence and make the response feel more cohesive.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information, using terms like 'gradual decline', 'soaring', and 'upward trend'. There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'number of employments' (should be 'number of jobs' or 'employment levels') and 'offered least job' (should be 'offered the fewest jobs'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To reach a higher band, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and ensuring pluralization is consistent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'manufacturing job industry had most job' (missing articles and pluralization) and 'keep on declining' (incorrect tense). Additionally, 'during 1960 and 2020' should be 'between 1960 and 2020'. While these errors are noticeable, they do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and consistent tense control when describing historical data.

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