Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar graph represents the information regarding number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, manufacturing sector was leading with higher number of jobs and in 1980 was at peak ,Agriculture experienced downward trend while, retail and healthcare showed upward trend .
In 1980, healthcare had about 3 million jobs , after a period of 20 year it slightly increased to 5 millions and sharply rose to its peak point accounted for 15 millions in 2020. Opposite trend was followed by the agriculture sector, from 1960 to 1980 it declined from 6 million to 3 millions, till 2020 it remained almost constant.
Manufacturing sector showed fluctuation, jobs was accounted for 15 millions in 1960 while in 1980 it sharply increased by 5 millions , it fall to 13 million until 2020. Jobs in retail sector in 1960 can be recorded as 6 millions ,number slowly inclined to 15 million in 2020 ,after it showed minor inclination till 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state the manufacturing sector 'fell to 13 million until 2020', whereas the graph shows it remaining relatively stable or slightly increasing. Additionally, the description of the retail sector is confusing, mentioning a 'minor inclination' after already stating it reached 15 million. While the main features are identified, the lack of precision in reporting the data points prevents a higher score. Ensure you double-check the figures against the axes to avoid misrepresenting the information provided in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In 1980', 'Opposite trend', and 'while', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'after it showed minor inclination till 2020' at the end of the final paragraph, which seems redundant or misplaced. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that cohesive devices are used more naturally would enhance the overall structure.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuation', 'downward trend', and 'inclined'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'number of jobs... was accounted for 15 millions' and 'after a period of 20 year'. The use of 'millions' (plural) is incorrect in this context; it should be 'million'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Expanding your repertoire of reporting verbs and noun phrases would be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('manufacturing sector was leading', 'jobs was accounted for') and article usage ('the manufacturing sector', 'the agriculture sector'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas and periods. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, specifically regarding pluralisation and the correct use of articles in academic writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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