Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given bar chart illustrate the data about number of jobs in different sectors of the economy in the United States in 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that in the given year the largest growing sector was agriculture and healthcare.
Moving towards the details, manufacturing sector was provide 15 millions job in 1960. However, the agriculture sector was provide nearly 5 millions job in same year. In the next year, the number of job in manufacturing sector was rised. After 1980 number of job in manufacturing sector was declined. Moreover, in 1980 to 2000 the number of job in agriculture sector was remained stable. While, around 2 million job was provide by agriculture sector.
Moving toward more details,in starting year the number of jobs in health care sector was nearly 2 millions. After that, it was continuously increased and last year it was intersect by manufacturing and retail sector. Additionally, the retail sector was provide by approx 5 millions job in 1960. Next 40 year it was rised . And 2000 to 2020 the number of job in retail sector was remained stable.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarise the data but fails to accurately report the main features. The overview is inaccurate; for example, stating that agriculture was a 'growing sector' contradicts the data, which shows it remained stable or declined. Furthermore, the description of trends is often confusing or factually incorrect, such as the claim that healthcare was 'intersected' by other sectors. The response lacks a clear focus on the most significant trends, and the data points cited are often imprecise or misread. To improve, focus on identifying clear peaks, troughs, and overall trajectories rather than listing individual years without context.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. While transition signals like 'Moving towards the details' and 'Additionally' are used, they are often mechanical and do not always connect ideas logically. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the vague use of 'it' when referring to trends. The internal structure of the paragraphs is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison of the four sectors. Improving the use of cohesive devices to link sentences and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic verbs like 'provide', 'rised', and 'remained'. There are several errors in word choice and form, such as 'rised' instead of 'rose' and 'intersect' used incorrectly to describe graph lines. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the trends with precision. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more varied and accurate terminology for describing data, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained constant', or 'experienced a downward trend', and ensure correct word forms are used throughout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturing sector was provide', 'agriculture sector was remained') and tense usage (e.g., 'was rised'). The sentence structures are predominantly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences are often faulty. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. To improve, focus on mastering basic verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, and practice constructing error-free simple sentences before attempting more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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