Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph shows the information about the number of jobs in different four sectors of the economy in US between 1960 and 2020. The line bar represents data on jobs across 1960 to 2020 focusing on different sectors. It is designed to show how the figures changed over time.
Overall, there are four different sectors of the US economy, In which healthcare sector is increases as compared to the agriculture department and the manufacturing area slightly decreases and the retail is steadily rose.
In detail, the healthcare sector is slightly upward 2020 in approximately 16 million . The agriculture department in 1960 is slightly rose in nearly 6 million but in different years there are gradually decreases in 2020. Furthermore, The manufacturing area rise in 1960 is 15million to 20 million but in 2020 there were downward in relatively 12 million. Meanwhile, retail job is 1960 is steadily increases towards in 2020 in almost 16 million.
In conclusion in which there are four sectors of the economy of the US in which maximum job in retail or healthcare departments.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the four sectors and their general trends. However, the analysis is hampered by significant inaccuracies in reporting the data. For example, stating that agriculture 'rose' in 1960 is confusing, and the description of the manufacturing sector's trajectory is unclear. The overview is present but lacks clarity, and the data points mentioned are often imprecise or contradictory to the visual evidence. To improve, ensure that the data reported matches the graph accurately and that the overview highlights the most significant trends, such as the clear divergence between the growth of healthcare/retail and the decline of agriculture/manufacturing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical flow is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Furthermore' and 'In conclusion', but they are often applied mechanically or incorrectly. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one, rather than simply listing data points.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'increase', 'decrease', and 'rise'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'line bar' (which is contradictory) and 'slightly upward 2020'. The use of 'department' to describe economic sectors is also imprecise. To improve, you should aim to use more specific vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuate', 'plummet', or 'level off', and ensure that you use the correct terminology for economic sectors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('healthcare sector is increases'), tense usage ('retail is steadily rose'), and sentence construction. Many sentences are fragmented or lack proper structure, which occasionally impedes clarity. While there is an attempt at complex sentences, they are often faulty. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures and ensuring consistent tense usage when describing past data. Proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms will significantly improve the quality of your writing.
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