Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrate the number of jobs measured in millions in the four sector of US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, employment in manufacturing the number of jobs are increase initially before declining, while in retail and Healthcare number of jobs are steadily increase. In agriculture the number of jobs are steadily decreased. The whole figure shows that only in healthcare and retail the numbers of jobs increase.
In 1960, manufacturing was very high jobs around 15 millions people after some years it increased in to 20 million butt after that it start decrease in to 17 millions now in 2020 there is only 13 million people jobs in manufacturing. In 1960 the number of jobs in retial is 6 million after that it steadily increased and now in 2020 there is 16 million people do jobs in retail.
In 1960, there is 6 millions people that job in agriculture butt it steadily decrease and now in 2020 there is only 2 million people job in agriculture. In Healthcare the numbers of jobs are dramatically increase start initially from only 2 million and in 2020 there is huge amount 16 million people job in Healthcare.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is slightly repetitive and lacks a clear synthesis of the data. While the key features are highlighted, the description of the manufacturing sector is somewhat confusing, as the text mentions it 'increased in to 20 million' and then 'start decrease', which is a bit imprecise. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview provides a more concise summary of the overall trends without repeating the specific data points that follow in the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'after that' and 'in 1960' are used frequently to start sentences, which limits the flow of the text. Additionally, some transitions between ideas are abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There is significant repetition of basic verbs like 'increase' and 'decrease'. Furthermore, there are several word-choice errors, such as 'people that job' instead of 'people employed' or 'people working'. The use of 'huge amount' is also informal for an Academic Task 1 report. To improve, you should incorporate more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'experienced a downward trend'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the number of jobs are increase', 'manufacturing... start decrease') and tense usage (e.g., 'the line graph illustrate'). Additionally, there are errors in preposition usage and sentence structure, such as 'in 1960, there is 6 millions people that job in agriculture'. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering basic verb tenses and subject-verb agreement.
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