Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph elaborate the idea related to the number of occupationsin four sector of the financial system

In the US from 1960 to 2020

Overall, the Retail and Health care jobs grows nervously by the six decades of period.

The graph discuss the economic system of four different departments in which the agriculter was 6% in the 1960 and then suddenly fall to the 3% by 1980 and remain equally by the two decades and reached to the two percent by the end of the 2020. However the manufacturing was on the top of all in the number of jobs 15 % in 1960 and increase to the 20% by 1980 but latter slowly and gradually on the declining to 13% by 2020.

However, the retail and health care on the boost mood.the health care was starting from 2% and then evolutionary reach to the 16% by the 2020, while the Retail initiated from 6% and cross all to the same level by health care in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph and identifies key trends. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the description of the manufacturing sector as 'on the top of all' is slightly inaccurate as the graph shows it peaking at 20% but then declining. The overview is also quite weak, using informal phrasing like 'grows nervously' which does not accurately describe the data trends. While the main features are reported, the comparison between sectors could be more analytical to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by awkward phrasing and limited use of cohesive devices. Transitions between sentences are often abrupt or repetitive, such as the repeated use of 'However' to start sentences. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the paragraphing is not fully effective in separating the distinct trends of the four sectors. The overall structure is present but lacks the sophisticated linking required for higher bands.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often inappropriate for an academic report. Phrases like 'grows nervously', 'on the boost mood', and 'evolutionary reach' are non-standard and impede the clarity of the report. There are also spelling errors such as 'agriculter' and 'latter' (used instead of 'later'). While the student attempts to describe trends, the lack of precise terminology for data reporting (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable') limits the score significantly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally make the meaning difficult to follow. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Retail and Health care jobs grows'), incorrect verb tenses, and awkward sentence construction. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods and incorrect capitalisation. While there is an attempt at complex sentence structures, they are often faulty, leading to a lack of control over grammar and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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