Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

the graph below demonstrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. the four occupation grows fast and furious which is manufacturing , retail agriculture and health care . in 1990 agriculture started from zero and in 2020 it was in 15 percent additionally in 10 percent. by contrast health care also have stunning results its percent rely on 10 to 15 percent. moreover a significant number of people also engaging with manufacturing the graphs seem that its percent is decreased the line appears in between 15 to 10 percent. the agriculture is negligible. retails also gives advantages a numerous people consider it its performance relay on between 5 10 15 percent yet health care having substantial ratio between 1990 to 2020 the graps seems the ratio of 30 years of the four sectors o

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. Furthermore, the analysis of the data is inaccurate and confusing. For instance, the claim that agriculture started at 'zero' in 1990 is not supported by standard graph interpretation, and the description of trends is vague and lacks clear comparative analysis. The response also ends abruptly mid-sentence, indicating an incomplete task. To improve, you must ensure all data points are accurately described and that you provide a clear overview of the main trends rather than listing isolated, often incorrect, figures. The response lacks a proper structure, failing to highlight the most significant changes over the 60-year period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks logical organization and paragraphing. There is no clear introduction, body, or conclusion. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and often misused, such as the repetitive use of 'moreover' and 'additionally' without clear logical links between sentences. The flow of information is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of the data. The lack of sentence variety and the abrupt ending further hinder the coherence of the piece. To improve, you should group related information into distinct paragraphs and use transition words more naturally to connect your ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and often used incorrectly. Phrases like 'grows fast and furious' are inappropriate for an academic report, which requires a formal and objective tone. There are frequent errors in word choice, such as 'its percent rely on' instead of 'the percentage ranges from' and 'engaging with' instead of 'employed in'. The spelling of 'retails' and 'graps' (graphs) also detracts from the quality of the writing. You need to focus on using precise, academic terminology to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'declined', or 'remained stable', rather than informal or inaccurate descriptions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the four occupation grows'), incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. Sentence structures are simple and often fragmented, such as 'the agriculture is negligible.' Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and periods. The lack of complex sentence structures limits the range of grammar demonstrated. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and practicing the correct use of articles and prepositions in an academic context.

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