Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the number of jobs in the four economical sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall there are four sectors of economy. The highest number of jobs are in Retail sector and Manufacturing whereas the lowest jobs are in Agriculture and Horticulture.
Therefore, manufacturing sector of economy from 1960 to 1980 is on highest peak around 20 millions of jobs were in this sector. For next couple of decades the rates drastically declined and reached between 10 to 15 millions.
Although, number of jobs in retail sector keeps growing from 1960 to 2000 jobs rates increased upto 15 millions and only 1% of number of jobs were increased for the next two decades. On the other hand, around 5 millions of jobs were there in Healthcare sector which keeps going for next years. In 2020, there were same number of jobs in the both Retail sector and Healthcare sector of economy.
However, Agriculture is the only sector which has the lowest number of jobs, the range lies between 6 miilions to 2 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends in the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the statement that the retail sector grew until 2000 and then only increased by 1% is not clearly supported by the data provided. Additionally, the description of the healthcare sector as 'keeping going' is vague and lacks precision. While the main trends are identified, the comparison between sectors could be more analytical. To improve, ensure that data points are cited more accurately and that the overview clearly highlights the most significant shifts over the 60-year period rather than just listing individual sector movements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. For example, the use of 'Therefore' at the start of the third paragraph is illogical, as it does not follow from the previous sentence. Similarly, 'Although' is used incorrectly at the start of the fourth paragraph. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences feels disjointed. To achieve a higher band, focus on using a wider range of linking words correctly to show the relationship between ideas, and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'economical sectors' (should be 'economic sectors'), 'on highest peak', and 'jobs rates'. The repetition of 'number of jobs' and 'sector of economy' limits the range. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of variety and occasional errors in word choice (e.g., 'miilions') suggest a limited lexical range. Using more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plateaued', or 'surpassed', would significantly enhance the quality of the writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include incorrect article usage ('in Retail sector'), subject-verb agreement ('number of jobs... are'), and awkward sentence construction ('there were same number of jobs in the both Retail sector'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure often feels repetitive. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence patterns and proofreading for common errors like pluralisation and article placement. Increasing the variety of complex structures, such as using relative clauses or participial phrases, would also help demonstrate better control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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